I can't believe it. We're finally going home today. We pack the rest of our luggage and drag it down to reception where we asked them to store it for us. We dumped the bags at reception, booked our transfer, got instructions on how to get to a DVD store and various shopping centres and left. We walked up the road to a big shopping centre where we found a cafe and sat down for some breakfast, and of course, the watered down American coffee. I managed to get myself a bottle of fresh fruit juice where it was so oversweetened, that my teeth started to hurt from drinking it. We ditch the remainder of our food and walked around the shopping centre.
Not being able to locate any DVD stores in the place, we headed out and jumped onto a tram to the other side of town. I spot the DVD store the receptionist told us about and made a mad dash into the shop. I found a few DVD boxset of Rocky abd Bullwinkle! I LOVED Rocky and Bullwinkle as a kid! It was my daily dose of cartoon right before dinner time! After spending about $70US, we walked up the road towards a huge Safeway that we spotted. On the way, I conveniently explained to Moishii that San Fran is a proud and gay city. Infact, the rainbow flag was invented in SF. As we looked around, there were rainbow flags hanging from every pole we could see. I could tell Moishii started sweating from fear so we moved on. We spotted this really nicely furnished office from the street. The office floor was probably about chest high for us, so we stood outside commenting on how nice the office is, but too bad people can see what you are doing. We stuck our face towards the window for a closer look, as we're scanning the ceiling of the office, we suddenly look down to eye level and there is a MASSIVE dog staring at us behind the window. We freak out, grab a photo and ran.
As we entered Safeway, we started going through the aisles one by one. And just like the woolies/safeway in Australia, its a huge supermarket chain. As we went through the products they stocked, we started recognising brands that you hear of all the time on tv. Various types of cereals, chocolates, chips, lollies you name it, we saw it! Now to say Americans love their junk food is an understatement. Their entire "fresh food" section, and I am talking about fruits, vegies, unprocessed meat was shorter than an aisle. The rest of the aisle was processed meat, precrumbed chicken and then the frozen processed food. There was a few racks of fresh bread though.......
We went and grabbed a few bags of Hershey Kisses, Hershey Chocolate bars, boxes of Junior Mints and some cookies and crackers to snack on the flight. We also grabbed a few cans of energy drinks and sculled that before we even got into the car park. With the food shopping done, we head back towards our hotel which is only a few blocks from Union Square. As we get off, I spotted a shop that sold more souveniers. I managed to find a really nice fleece vest for my granny that has San fran embroided on the back. My dad actually tried to fight my gran for that vest, only it was a tad small for him. Had I known that he liked it that much, I would've bought a few more. Talking to the shop assistant, she directed us up the road to a chemist which should sell padlocks.
We head into the chemist where we spotted those blow up air cushions that go around your neck. Little did we know that this would be the greatest purchase we've made on the entire trip. We grabbed a few padlocks each, more lollies and then continued on our way. Just down the road was an Old Navy shop. Now I've heard of Old Navy so many times, but I've never been in there before. We walk in and they sales assistant asked if we wanted a shopping bag to help us carry the clothes we wanted to buy (The shop is 3 levels). Moishii turns to me and asks if I wanted a shopping bag, not expecting to buy much, I said no. This is when Moishii tries to take a bag to pocket and take back to Sydney. The poor girl had to explain to him that it was basically a shopping trolley/basket that we had to hand back before we left. Moishii threw the bag back into her face and stormed off.
We split up to do our shopping. I started grabbing clothes randomly off the rack and hit the change room. Unfortunately, the clothes in America just don't fit me. Either the shoulders are too tight, or the waist is big enough to fit 2 people in. In the end, out of the 8 to 10 tops I tried, I only bought 1. Shocking hey? I went upstairs to look for Moishii when I see him collapsed onto a bench with the biggest bag of clothes infront of him. He bought about 3 racks of clothes in the 15mins I left him. I have taught him well.......
After resting on the bench for awhile, Moishii went back to the hotel and dumped our stuff in the storage room to save us carrying it. He comes back a few minutes later laughing his head off. Apparently the storage room, was seriously just an empty room. And our luggage took up the entire room!!!! And this is us travelling light.....
Well, we were travelling light. We had no shopping bags to burden us, so we headed towards Union Square. I stopped by the Apple Store only to see the iPod Nano in its full glory less than 3 days after I bought my iPod photo. Moishii saw the gleaming look in my eye, wrestled the iPod nano out of my hand and physically dragged me out of the store whilst slipping on my drool. We went back the tram turnaround which is apparently a real tourist attraction since the whole place was crowed with people. They basically drive the tram to the end where it rests on a rotating platform, the drivers jump of, rotate the tram 360 degrees, and off it goes in the opposite direction
We saw a Virgin Music store and resisted with all our might from getting pulled in. We decided that we should rest and grab some lunch before shopping. That way we have plenty of energy and concentration to really think about our purchases. Do we REALLY NEED to buy that $70 boxset? We stopped by a sandwich shop where they were serving half sandwiches with soup. More processed turkey meat and canned turkey soup. But atleast it was non greasy...and don't forget the huge pickle we got.
Feeling energised, I stopped by an ATM, grabbed more cash and headed for the Virgin Music store. I lost Moishii when I hit the DVD section where I picked up the LOST DVD boxset, and Will and Grace season 1 and 2 plus a few other random things. I don't even want to think how much I spent there. I managed to locate Moishii in the errrrrr......more "grown up" section of the DVD section where he was busy selecting his movies. Multiple travellers cheques were pulled out before we got our goods. We went upstairs to locate a toilet before we moved on. I left Moishii with all the bags and lined up at the toilet. This is when it all started. The Men's toilet was broken, so everyone was using the ladies. But there was only one cubicle and 5 people infront of me. As a woman walks out with her walking trolley thing, a girl stepped aside to let her pass. This is when the door slams shut. To get it opened, you have to run to the other side of the shop and ask someone at the counter to unlock it for you. There was a good 5 minute wait before the door buzzes open. 20mins later, its finally my turn and I'm glad I don't have a weak bladder. I go back to find Moishii where he's practically wetting the seat. Before I even had a chance to sit down, he ran off towards the toilet. 15mins later, he comes back looking alot more relaxed.
We laze about for awhile, enjoying the soft comfy couch whilst watching a homeless guy sit opposite us writing those "Please, I need money" signs on various bits of cardboard when the security guard came and escorted him out. After about 1/2 hour, we headed on over to Union Square where we took many happy snaps:
We sit on the stairs basking in the rare sunshine and relaxing. This is the first time that we've actually sat back and relaxed on the holiday. Even when we were on the beach, it was more of a "lets get some sleep before I pass out" than a chillout session. Half an hour passes when we get up and decided to explore the shops around Union Square. Basically a quick glance told us that we can't afford a single thing around here. We spot a Disney store and shove people out of the way to get there. The one thing I really regret is that I never bought ANY of the big fluffy dwarves they sold at the Disney store when it was still open in Sydney. I bought heaps as gifts for other people, just never any for myself, and I wanted the whole set deperately.
I storm into the shop and start running up and down the aisles, grabbing soft toys off the shelf, giving them a quick hug and a quick rub before throwing them at Moishii to try. I ran through the entire store in less than 2 minutes only to find out that they don't sell any of the 7 dwarves. Disappointed, I did a few more rounds in the store trying to find something that I would like to buy. I walk out of the store empty handed and disappointed.
Since there was a huge Borders down the street, and you all know how I am with books, we decided to go there to kill a few hours. As you could tell, we were bored shitless. Unlike NY, we had done everything we wanted to do in one day. We browse around the book and somehow stumbled ito the DVD/CD section. I found this Instructional Bellydancing DVD boxset that I've been drooling for over the net, but refused to pay over $100AUD because they manufacture only a few thousand DVDs a year due to the low demand. I *HAD* to buy it. Then we spent 10mins arguing whether Moishii should buy a Mykonos CD for $20, when he could've gotten a Skandanavian Bar remix CD when we were in Mykonos. I eventually threw the CD back on the rack and dragged him outta there.
We found a coffee shop inside Borders, ordered a coffee each and sat back recapping our holiday. This is when we spot this guy, who I assume is some eccentric fashion designer since he had about 30 textas, crayons, pencils scattered all over his table. Be basically sat there drinking coffee and drawing various pictures into his scrap book. From our angle, they look like clothes for a drag queen. Most possible him. I mean, who would sit there with make up on and a flower in his hair?
4 coffees later, we decided to get a move on and explore the surrounding streets. We still had a good 2 hours before our transfer.
We eventually came across Louis' Diner with the old fashion soda machines, bar stools, bright red vinyl booths and even a car and Harley as decoration. We sit down and order our food. Lasagne for Moishii, and a healthy Tomato and Herb Penne for me with a big glass of Root beer. The food comes, and my healthy pasta tastes like day old pasta mixed with left over bits of leaves from the bottom of a vegie bin with chopped tomatos drizzled in oil. There was no taste whatsoever. I went nuts with the salt and pepper, in the end, I gave up just like I gave up on that Waffle in NY. Feeling totally unsatisfied, we paid and dumped a whole heap of change as tips and walked back to the hotel.
Dry and tasteless
Theres more oil than there is lasagne
Interior
On the way back, we passed a homeless woman on the street who asked us if we could spare a nickle (5c). Now since we had dumped all our change at the diner, Moishii reached into his pocket and gave her everything he had. 2 pennies. This is when the woman turns and yells "Thats not a nickle!!". I stop, spin around and glared at her as I screamed "BE GRATEFUL YOU INCONSIDERATE BITCH!!!!". Only in America, would you get told off for not giving enough money to the homeless. We left her standing there ranting and raving about only getting 2c when she asked for 5c. We get back to the hotel, grab the key to the luggage storage room and basically made ourselves comfortable.
We throw open all our suitcases by spreading them around the room, rearrange everything so we could fit our shopping in and padlocked EVERYTHING.
Count it, 5 suitcases not including my hand luggage
We somehow managed to drag everything into the lobby (Well, a few people had to catch the next lift since we took up all the room) and sat there waiting for our shuttle bus. There was another couple waiting for their transfer and we struck up a conversation. They're from America and on their way to Las Vegas. Surprisingly, they were quite nice and we had a good chat whilst Moishii went around taking photos of the ghetto outside the hotel
The shuttlebus arrives, we load all our suitcases in, barely fitting everything in the back so we had to carry our hand luggage. We arrive at the airport early for our checkin. As our luggage gets weighed, I suddenly freak out when one of my suitcases weighed 47kgs. I started freaking out hoping she wouldn't notice and wouldn't charge me for excess baggage. My second suitcase weighed around 56kgs and I seriously start sweating, my heart is thumping and my head is spinning. HOW ON EARTH DID I BUY THAT MUCH!? Suprisingly, the woman didn't say anything. She handed over our boarding passes, and this time, neither of us got any seats allocated. I grabbed our tickets and basically made a run for it. I told Moishii what happened when he laughed and screamed at me that its all in pounds and not Kilos!!! How could I forget!!!
Feeling better, we went through a security check where I get pulled aside by the security guard. He puts me into an empty line and forces Moishii to join the big queue. He pulls me aside and explains that I've been selected for a trial security system that scans me for drugs and explosives rar rar. I then get shoved into this phone booth looking thing where I get sprayed by random jets of air, ruining my hair. I come out after given the all clear and get shoved through the xray and metal detector where I had to unzip my jacket and show them I haven't strapped anything to my chest.
Clearing security, and causing a bigger fuss than Moishii for a change, we started our duty free shopping when I spotted a few bottles of perfume I wanted to get. But I had bought 3 bottles of perfumes when I was in Singapore and really shouldn't be buying anymore. We did laps around the duty free place with me going "Should I buy? Should I buy???" when Moishii turns to me and screams "OH FFS JUST BUY AND SHUT UP!!". I refused to buy for spite.
We grabbed a few magazines and I popped into the toilet to change into my trakkie daks and thongs. Its going to be a long 14hr flight, and I was determined to get comfortable. Looking like I was ready for bed, we headed back towards our departure lounge when I suddenly asked Enver if we've gone through customs yet. I don't remember going through customs. We spot a guy standing near a machine and we run up and ask him where do we go through customs and he points to the machine next to him. Basically, we scan our passport on the machine, have both our fingerprints scanned again and get a printout. Thats it.
Knowing that we're not leaving the country illegally, we find a set in the departure lounge. I go over to the counter and hand my ticket over to the United Airlines woman and ask if she can put a note that the 2 of us need to be seated together because "my friend is terrified of flying, and if he has to sit through the 14hr flight by himself, he's going to freak and have an asthma attack. I don't think he can fly alone so we REALLY REALLY need to be seated together". Getting an oscar for my sob story, I sit back down, and try to pull my blow up cushion out of the wrapping. We didn't think about trying to cut the damn thing out of the plastic box beforehand when I had my pocket knife with me. But thats been checked in and all we can do it sit there bending the edges back and forth for a good 10mins hoping we will weaken it enough to rip open. It took us 20mins to get the damn thing out of the packaging. I was ready to throw it in the bin if I didn't get it out soon!!!
My name is called and I walk up to the counter and collect my ticket. We sit there wondering when Moishii would get his ticket. 20mins passed and almost everyone has their tickets except Moishii. I told him theres no way I am waiting behind with him, and that I'm getting onto that plane no matter what. He chucks a tantrum calling me an inconsiderate bitch and storms off the counter to demand that they give him a ticket. This is when I realised that they stapled his ticket to my one and I yell for him to come back. He looked like he was about to rip my throat open when I started laughing at him. We look at the tickets and find out that we're sitting together, but we have different boarding numbers. He insists that there is no way that we're sitting together and having to board seperately. Does he never learn how stupid the American system is? I basically told him that IF we had to board seperately, whoever got called first, takes the other persons hand luggage with them otherwise we'll end up having to chuck it on the other side of the plane cos theres no room.
Lo and behold, my number gets called first. Without saying a word to him, I grabbed his little suitcase and ran over a mans foot to storm my way onto the plane. I was the first to get to my seat. YES! I quickly unloaded our necessary supplies and climbed onto the seat to shove the things into the overhead compartment. This is when I lost my footing and almost dropped the suitcase onto the guy's head sitting behind us. Moishii would never forgive me if I did a reenactment of the Santorini flight without him. And luckily, I was fast enough to prevent the guy from getting a concussion. I settle down in my seat when 15mins later, Moishii finally comes crashing onto the plane. We get comfortable since we had a good 14hr flight ahead of us. As I take a final look outside the window, I notice 2 things.
1. There is a gap where the window is. Its as if someone was trying to slide the window pane in and couldn't get it all the way down
2. Someone had shoved a piece of chewing gum under the gap inbetween the 2 panes.
Worried that either the window would explode from the air pressure, or I'll end up accidently suck the chewing gum in when I am asleep, we call a flight attendant to let her know. She takes one look and laughs. What the? Well apparently its safe and she'll make a note of it. We managed to slide the window down a bit more so the gap wouldn't be as obvious. She then commented that its a full flight, and if we get the 3rd seat to ourselves, we'll be very very lucky. LEss than 5mins after she said that, this huge guy came and sat next to us almost crushing Moishii's rib cage. He then made Moishii move his bag, that he's shoved into the seat infront of him, so the guy can shove his stinky feet into Moishii's space. WTF is wrong with these Americans?!
The flight takes off and with my newly purchased blow up neck cushion and eye masks, I passed out for a good portion of the trip only to be waken for the meals. Being pampered by the Singapore Airlines gourmet meals, I was shocked when they served us meat loaf (Who the hell serves meat loaf on a plane?? As if the normal food isn't bad enough) and for breakfast, we got a semi-cooked breadroll which stuck to my teeth (Like raw dough does) with was slathered with mustard and some type of meat. Atleast I think it was meat. Luckily we bought our own snacks and had that instead.
We touch down and it feels great to be back home!! We grab our luggage and start heading towards customs. I stop in the meantime to give my dad a call. Generally they don't wait at the airport. The drill is, I call the minute I touch down, and that is when they leave the house. By the time they get to the airport, I would've gone through customs and collected my luggage and I'll be waiting at Arrivals to save them the parking $$. I call up only to have a stranger answer the phone. It sounded like the guy had a sock rammed down his throat. Thinking I called the wrong number, I checked my mobile and sure enough, it said that I was calling my dad's mobile. There was a minute of "hello??" "Hello?" "helloooo??" when I found out that it was my brother on the phone and he was still in bed. He said he was going to wake up and come pick me up. Thinking it'll be awhile to get through customs, I found the lines pretty short and got through within 10mins. I quickly call my brother up again since I told him to take his time on the first phone call. This time my sister in law answers. Apparently my brother is in the shower. SHIT. He takes a good 45mins MINIMUM to shower.
We get to the baggage carousel and wait for our suitcases. This is when Moishii finds out that his mum, his aunty and 13 of his cousins are waiting outside for him. Shit. I told him to leave first cos the last thing I want is to get trampled by his relatives so they can get to him. I stand around waiting for 30mins before my second suitcase comes out. Then came the 30min wait to get through quarantine. By the time I actually got upstairs to arrivals, even my brother had arrived. I felt great to finally be at home and sleep in my nice clean bed and have a good shower.
Until the next holiday people.......
