What have I been up to?

I've been soooooooo busy with work lately. If I haven't been working, I've been shopping. So much that I just got a letter from the credit card company asking me if I want to increase my limit to $5000. The last time they only offered me $4000......of course I didn't take it. I'm scared to see my credit card bill for this month >_< Atleast the payrise will make up for it.

So far this week.....

Wednesday

Company Staff party. We won a game of lawn bowls, got a trophy, drank beer out of the trophy, watch Mey almost spray the CEO in the face with beer, then I followed him around for the rest of the night as he is a wandering bar tab. Number of hours spent drinking wine, beer and shots? 6.5hrs

Thursday

Vic's birthday party at Banks hotel. I got there about an hour before everyone else to start hitting the bar. Half price cocktails until 11pm ROCKS! Long island teas for $8? ME!! Number of hours spent drinking cocktails? 5hours

Friday

No one stays at work past lunchtime on xmas eve. I rocked up to work with a nice hangover around 9:15 (We start at 8:30) and I was the earliest person there. I didn't even have the keys to get into the office since I was so early. So 9:15am start meant a 11:30am knockoff time. Headed to Lowenbrau after lunch followed by bar hopping of a sort. Apple sour schnapps are the most awesome thing ever!!! Must search on the net to see where I can order it from germany. So after about 7 or 8 shots, 1.5L of beer, a jug of cosmopolitan and a few other drinks later, I am now at home ready to celebrate the ticking of the clock over into xmas. So how many hours did I spend drinking shots and cocktails before xmas? 9 hours. And you the worst bit? I'm not even bloody tipsy!! >_<

Early Chrissie pressie!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! This Christmas is gonna be AWESOME!

• Originally I had to take 25th-10th off wasting my paid leave. I've now scored work for 4th-7th meaning I save 4 days leave = more overseas time.
• I got a GOOD payrise. Lets just hope it doesn't affect my taxes too much
• I got a promotion! Well......I've been in that role for a year now...just that we've never charged the clients for it. Now we're having a new billing system where if they want me, they gotta pay more!
• I got a special pressie from work that is limited to a small number of people only
• Staff party tonight where there will be more pressies!
• BAR TAB!

Merry Christmas all!! LET THE DRINKING BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 15 - Shopping!

My sister had to work today so she left me on my own to do some shopping. I went to my favourite shopping centre and visited my favourite store. Charles and Keith. I LOVE their shoes! They have the newest shoes at the cheapest prices. You would pay from $20-40 for a pair of new season shoes. Now convert that to AUD, you're looking at $15-30. I managed to find the same pair of shoes I bought last time I went to singpore and paid $10 for it! I also managed to buy another 3 pairs of shoes and walked around the rest of the day with 2 bags of Charles and Keith shoes. I went to the local CD/VCD/DVD store to pick up some cheap Chinese TV soapies. They always have a special where you can buy 1 box get 1 free. So this is a good chance for me to buy some of the classics on VCD instead of the videos we've had for about 20years. Most of them have started rotting.

The woman at the store could kinda tell I was one of the insane types because I threw myself onto the shelves and started grabbing things randomly. She noticed that I was struggling to hold my 6 boxes of VCDs as well as juggle about 8 shopping bags. She took all my shopping bags and the VCDs to the counter so I could shop in comfort. I ended up buying so many boxes of CDs and VCDs that I had to catch a cab home. Which was a few blocks away. She also asked me if Charles and Keith was having a massive sale based on the number of shoes I bought......

Oh.....did I mention that I also bought another 3 bags?



That is what I bought FOR MYSELF only. Not too bad considering I only spent 4 hours shopping plus my visit to the warehouse. Besides those bags, I bought another 6 handbags to give to my mum, sister and cousin....

Day 14 - The Flight continued.....

This was an interesting flight. We had one person freaking out about how small and old the plane is, despite the fact that this was the newest fleet of 747s for SIA, and the other one wanted to spend the whole flight passed out or screaming whilst I was busy scabbing free stuff like eye masks. That was when I told them that all the alcohol was free. Cocktails all round! w00t! We arrive in Dubai for a quick change over. Instead of exploring the airport, we RAN back to the terminal to wait 45mins to board a plane because we thought we were going to miss the flight.

We get back onto the plane and as we ask for more eye masks and steal all the toothbrushes in the toilet. We enjoyed the movie "Mean girls" and had a good laugh before scoffing down their plane food. Apparently one of the dishes were made specially by Gordon Ramsey. Seeing that we would never get to eat the food of a famous chef, we had to settle for his version of plane food. Bad idea. Moishii barely made it to the toilet to hurl everything back up. This was when the plane had landed and everyone had jumped into the aisle to gather their suitcases. Moishii had to dash up the aisle and knocking people over only to just miss the toilet. ewwwwwwwww We waited for everyone to file off the plane whilst Moishii reminisced the year of the vomit.

We finally got off the plane at Singapore, just in time for another visit to the bathroom and alot of hurling. This is when I bid them adieu and go visit my sister and the kids. From what I heard, Moishii managed to drag his corpse around the airport to score some duty free before vomiting his way back to the plane.

Meanwhile, I was in a cab on my way to my sisters place. I dropped all my stuff at her place, had a shower and dropped the kids to school then headed straight for the shopping centre. This was when the jetlag set in. The whole shopping centre was spinning, everything was so surreal. I almost passed out at the shoe section, although I suspect that the sales had something to do with that. I managed to score myself a wallet and find my way to the car only to pass out in the passenger seat. Seeing how jetlagged I was, my sister drove me home so I can catch up on some sleep whilst the kids had swimming lessons.

By the time I woke up, it was dinner time. We scoffed some food down, and when my brother in law came home, we left him with all the kids and me and my sister went bag shopping! w00t! We drove to this womens warehouse where she stocked all these vietnamese silk bags. I rummaged through her boxes and boxes of supplies and ended up buying more bags then I could carry! Dragging bags of bags back to the car, we went home so I could crash again. I slept well knowing I had completed my mission to buy all the bags I needed. Or so I thought.....

Day 13 - The flight

At 6:30am we suddenly get a call with Moishii's mum screaming down the phone that we are going to miss the flight if we don't start leaving the hotel! Moishii screams something, slams down the phone and we all go back to sleep. At 7, we get a panic attack, no thanks to my phone's alarm blaring some rock song to wake us up. We fell out of bed, scrambled to get showered and dressed and bolt down to the breakfast hall for some food. We shoved as much food as we can down our throat whilst Moishii managed to lose an Olive that flew over his head and landed somewhere. We were too scared to find out where it landed. We ran back to our rooms and grabbed all our stuff, hailed a taxi and was on our way to Moishii's cousin's place. We get there only to find his mum waiting at the front door panicking thinking we were either going to be late, or we were ditching her and going to the airport ourselves. We left our luggage in the lobby and ran through the rain to "The Barber" for some last minute happy snaps. We get back to the apartment just intime for Moishii to lug all his luggage down three flights of stairs. The best bit? His uncle didn't want to help him move so he sat there eating this breakfast as slow as he can whlist someone lugs down the 30kg suitcase by himself. This is probably why he dropped his ventilator machine that came crashing down three flights of steps!

We finally get into the taxi to the airport after much tears, hugging, photos and last minute screws. The taxi was prebooked the night before to ensure we had a station wagon and we even negotiated the price. 25million to the airport. Only when we got to the airport, the taxi drive said we owed him 45million because we had more luggage than expected. We had a nice bargaining session before some porter ran up to us to help us move our luggage. It cost us 15million for him to push the luggage across the road. FFS. Did we have "rip us off" tattoed on all of our heads?

We get to the airport trying to find our counter to checkin, but because we were so early, we couldn't even check in. So we squatted infront of the counter for about 20 mins whilst drinking coffee that costed me 21million before they let us checkin. Once all the luggage got checked in, we all needed to pee from drinking too much coffee. I walk into the toilet only to find the entire floor flooded with water. Half of the women were semi naked and others were cleaning themselves. I tiptoe to the toilet stalls only to see these women topless in the toilet stalls cleaning themselves!! With what? In toilets in turkey have this funny hose that sticks out where the water comes out to flush the toilet. Somehow, these women had rigged the toilet so the water was continuously running and they were showering with that water!! FFS ITS NOT A FREAKIN BATH-HOUSE YOU KNOW!?

I bolt out of there without peeing to try and find another toilet. Only thing is, someone was panicking about missing the flight even though we had checked in and gone through customs. So for peace of mind, we went to the terminal over an hour and a half early to wait for our flight. Suddenly all the lights in the terminal goes off and we start to panic. What the hell was happening? Was there a terrorist attack? It didn't help that some people were panicking about the size the plane being too small and unsafe. Mind you it's a boeing 747. The lights finally come back on and we run onto the plane. I can't wait to get home. We taxi onto the runway when we come to a skidding halt. The pilot announces that because the run way was under construction, we're supposed to do a 180 degree turn on the runway in order to take off. Unfortunetly, because our plane is so big, we can't actually do that. So we were stopping at the runway to wait for a tow truck to tow us onto the runway and turn us around in the right direction. God am I getting out of this country alive!?

Day 12 - The Swap

We get up early in the morning to pack our freakin bags YET AGAIN to move hotels. Luckily it was literally across the street. We managed to scoff breakfast down before dragging our bags across the road. Then SOMEONE had a bright idea that we should go have a second breakfast! Unfortunetly, we had no idea where the breakfast room was, so we decided to go for a wander whilst avoiding detection by the hotel staff. We bolt down the stairs only for Moishii to run smack bang into a waiter who was cleaning up the breakfast room. The guy asked us where were we going, and what did Moishii reply? "We're trying to get upstairs". Mind you we just came crashiong DOWN the stairs! I mean what type of excuse was that?

Having our second breakfast plans foiled, the only logical thing was to go shop. Grand Bazaar here we come! MAuahaUAah I walked into the place and within 5 minutes, managed to score myself a bracelet. Actually, I didn't even like the bracelet that much. I asked the guy how much was the bracelet and he said 35 million. I offered him 20million whilst he was complaining that the bracelet costs him more than 20million. So I turned and walked off. 50m down the aisle later, I hear this screaming behind me. I turn around and the guy is practically standing on the table waving at me telling me to come back. So we slowly walk back to the guy who was waving like a lunatic. I got the bracelet for 20million. MauHauahaUA The funny thing is......I didn't even want the bracelet. I just wanted to bargain for the sake of bargaining. But then he offered it to me for 20million and I couldn't pass the chance to snatch up such a bargain. How do I know? Because when I went to buy my second bracelet, where I also bargained it down from 30million to 15million whilst waving my new bracelet in his face, the guy told me that 20million is around cost price and I should count myself lucky for scoring that bargain *^_^*

We walk around and some how end up at this jewellery store where someone ends up buying half the store! The guy had to pull out hia reserved supplies for us to raid! I can't remember how much we spent at that store, nor can I remember what the hell we bought. I just remember I almost had to fight a 13y.o girl for a pair of earrings. Oh.....I also made the guy rip off these dangly things from the earrings I want and replaced it with other nicer dangly things from another pair of earrings. :D

Next stop? BELTS! The guy recognised me immediately but he was busy with another customer. So this other guy tried to serve me whilst telling me how much of a "bargain" he was going to give me. He could tell I wasn't interested in the prices he gave me and the word "sucker" wasn't permanetly tattooed into my forehead for a change. The big boss was watching the whole incident when he decided to step in and tell the guy to give it to me at wholesale price. When I heard that, there was a mad rush to grab as many belts as I could hold. I managed to get almost one of every style of belt they had and sat down whilst the guy ordered me a tea for the bargaining process. Despite him offering me the belts at wholesale price, nonetheless, being asian, I had to bargain. I think the guy thought I punched him in the face when I gave him my offering price. Meanwhile, someone was sitting there trying not to laugh whilst I was bargaining with this guy. We finally settled on a price and quickly ran outta there with my goods. Once we turned around the corner, we burst out laughing and practically peed our pants! What the hell was that all about!? God! I wonder how much they rip off other people who don't bargain!

*Insert another incident that we should not mention ever again*

Moishii decided that he would go to his barbar's one more time to get a shave and a haircut, because according to him, it costs him 1million and he's too lazy to shave. So I get ditched at the Grand Bazaar to shop by myself. Bad idea. I did my last minute shopping and buying everything I could get a discount on. Meanwhile I had shop keepers trying to get my attention in buying their crap. If I won't respond to "Hey miss", they'll start yelling "Hey baby!", "Beautiful lady!" or they will try and guess my nationality. "Japanese! Korean! Vietnamese!" I'll have all these people screaming countries at me whilst I'm walking. Can't you see I'm not interested!? Gees!

In between all of this happening, I saw a guy trying to sell a turkish tea set by taking a glass and bashing it against the edge of a table with all his might, an 80y.o guy chasing another guy whlist waving his walking stick over his head and screaming his head off. By this time, I had had enough. Well......not really. The real reason I had to leave was cos they were closing and I got kicked out of the Grand Bazaar.....

Making my way back to the hotel, I managed to buy about another 6 pairs of earrings, get stalked by a freak, have the most disgusting kebab ever made that contained slivers of chicken, carrots, pickles and no sauce in a bread roll. After 2 bites, I chucked the damn thing and bought a few puddings to take back to the hotel. I walked into a restaurant that had fresh made gozleme (turkish pancake of a sort) only for them to tell me that the woman has gone home for the day. I walk out and bump into the next door shop keeper who was screaming at me saying that I should have gone in earlier if I wanted Gozleme. WTF? Go mind your own farkin store! Biatch. With all the freaks on the street, I headed back to the hotel room to hide and pack.

This was when I stick my head out of the hotel room and see Moishii get out of a taxi. I scream at him from my window only for him to think he is hearing voices. When he finally spots the lunatic screaming out of the window, he realises that all this fuss was because I wanted a bottle of water and I couldnt be fucked walking down the street. He bursts into the room throwing the water in my face whilst screaming that he had a near death experience where he was having an asthma attack at the barbar as they were renovating. All renovation had to stop because some inconsiderate prick decided that the will have an attack right then and there.

We also find out, that according to someone's someone, that we had to leave for the airport at 9am even though our flight isnt until 1:30pm. Meaning we had to get to the airport 4hours early! WTF? Are there no normal people in this country!?

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!!

So I get a call today from this woman. Apparently shes from some casting agency where I signed up to be an extra (God knows what I was thinking when I did that). Anyway, part of my application mention that I am asian and I belly dance (Yes it’s astrange combo). She was so excited when she called me because she was so interested in my ability to belly dance. So she told me to come to the filming so she can put me up the front where all the cameras are. Like WTF? She also asked me to bring a costume, although wearing it will be optional. She also asked me to ask all the people in my class if they are interested in coming as well cos then she can put a whole big group of belly dancers on the show!! WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO!?

Happy birthday!

Happy Birthday to some old fuddy duddy.

Day 11 - The return to Istanbul

Who the fark wakes up at 4:30 in the morning? UGH My phone being extremely low on battery and the power point was too far up a wall for me to charge my phone, we relied on SOME ELSE's phone to be the alarm. You would expect that when your alarm is loud is enough to wake up the building goes off, that person would get up and turn the alarm off. Especially since no one else knows where the phone is in the dark. But some people were able to sleep through the alarm whilst waking up the entire building. Freezing at 4:30 in the morning, we drag ourselves out of bed and grab our suitcases to check out. Guess what? The elevator is broken. So ontop of waking everyone up with an alarm that went on ringing for about 5 mins, we dragged our suitcases down the stairs whilst making a huge racket.

We go around the corner to look for a taxi to Syntagma square which is like the Martin Place of Sydney so we can catch the airport shuttle bus from there. Ok, I know I don't speak perfect Greek, but I can't have been that hard to understand!? After the 3rd Taxi refusing to drive us, we finally found a guy who understood what the hell we were talking about. We make it to the bus stop just in time to hop onto the bus and on our way to the airport.

Checking our luggage in, we decided that it was time for some coffee and food. We go to the Maccas at the airport and tried to order a Ham, Cheese and Tomato Crossiant without the ham. We asked the bitch at the counter whether she can just take the ham out she gives us a dirty look like we just asked her to flash us her tits. THAT BITCH! I hope you slip on a piece of ham on the floor and crack your head on a block of lard. But I guess it was a good thing since the bloody crossiant, which was about the size of a crumpet would've cost us $7.

Getting onto our flight, we pass out and fall asleep. Note to self: Never fall asleep during a plane landing. I swear I lost 3 years off my life when we bumped onto the runway. It felt like I was sleeping on a bunk bed and someone threw me off the bed onto the floor in the matter of 2 seconds. FFS don't you people know how to land a fuckin plane!? Then they make an announcement over the PA and said something something blah blah "after dessert". ?? WTF?

We flagged down a taxi to the hotel. After leaving the airport, we noticed that most of the roads have been barracaded by comps and all the traffic was getting diverted to a different area. We keep driving and we notice that the route we were going was also getting blocked off. I turned around and mouthed "OMG Its a bomb!" thinking that it was a joke. Now I actually kept a journal for the whole trip making notes of incidents that happen during the day. In the taxi, after circling the city and making verious detours for about 20mins I wrote in my journal:

"Police barracades EVERYWHER! Bomb?"

Someone turns and looks at what I was writing, nods and then laughs. THERE WAS A FREAKIN BOMB SCARE!? I quickly wrote the following note:




What type of sick person doesn't tell me that there is a bomb scare and leaves me practically peeing my pants worrying about my life? I show the note to the asshole who turns and laughs in my face. !?!?!?! Well after about another 5mins, we realise that it was actually a bloody marathon that caused all the road closures and not a bomb. Yet someone didn't even bother clarifying that with me even though I was shitting my pants and writing out my will in my head. Oh btw, we got trapped in the taxi for 1.5hrs whilst circling the city trying to find a way to the hotel.

We get to the hotel and check into our room. Not before this woman in the reception PULLED DOWN HER TOP AND FLASHED US HER BOOBS! UGh! I need a shower, for my eyes as well thank you very much. I hop into the shower and half way through the shower, theres a blackout. FFS! CAN'T YOU BLOODY PEOPLE LET ME SHOWER IN PEACE!? I managed to finish showering and get dressed in complete darkness without slipping and cracking my head open. I walk into the room only to almost fall through a hole in the floor! There was this massive indent in the middle of the room covered by carpet. If you stepped in that stop, the whole floor sags in! The whole place was falling down around us! None of the power points work so I couldn't charge my phone again.

After our "budget" holiday in Greece, we head to the nearest turkish restaurant and ordered two main meals per person. Yes we were being greedy but the whole meal cost about 50% of what we normally paid in Greece only we were getting twice the amount of food. Now this is the place where we met this freak of a waiter who would walk up to our table and move our plates around. Not that there was more food coming. He just wanted to move our plates for the sake of moving it. If he saw me not eating a particular dish at the very moment he looked over, he would come and move that dish closer to me and move everything else around on the table. Sometimes he'll just come and nudge my plate over by 2-3cms. !?!?!?! The restuarant we were at was right outside a train station. All of a sudden there was a really loud announcement over the PA. Since it was in Turkish, I asked my friend what they were saying. Without missing a beat, he turns to me and says:

"The train's coming. We have to move the restaurant"

And hence the famous quote was born. After scoffing the food and laughing at the same time, we ask for our bill and paid the waiter. He walks back to us with the change and puts it down on our table. My friend turns around and says "Thank you". The waiter picked up the change and walked off. What the!?

I give up. You people are nuts. I'm heading to the asia side of Turkey for a bit of normality. We jump onto the ferry, and I mean JUMP because there is no ramp from the shore to the ferry, we head towards the asia side. The minute we get off the ferry, this guy walked up to us and dragged us up 3 flights of stairs in this cheesey looking building. Of course I don't get an explaination as to what is happening from some people and just assumed I was walking into a brothel. We get up to level 3 and it's a bloody VCD/DVD/CD galore! *cough* I browse whilst my friend gets dragged into a back room where I thought the prostitutes were. When he gets out, we quickly run from the building which was when he revealed to me that he scored some free porno DVD. I'm disgusted that he didn't get any for me. After exploring the asian side, we head to the hotel and dump all our things to go to Profilo.

We satisfy our stomaches with mass amounts of Kofte and do some CD shopping before I head to the Internet Cafe whilst someone goes and gets a haircut. I sit in the net cafe for over an hour inhaling second hand smoke and almost die before my friend rocked up to go back to the hotel. We decide to have a nap before heading out clubbing. The only problem was we were so buggered from our early morning start that when I managed to wake up later that night and get changed, my friend opens a lazy eye and says "I'm too tired" and then goes back to sleep. WTF? You ass! You owe me a clubbing session!! The least you could've done was told me before I got up and got ready to go out! I even had my shoes on!

Day 10 - Delphi

Who the hell wakes up at 6am when they slept at 2 am with a hangover!? What the hell were we thinking? Ugh......with our mouths tasting like an ashtray, we drag our corpses out of bed and down to the breakfast room. We managed to scoff down breakfast whilst avoiding the mouldy bread in about 15mins. My friend also managed to shove about 15 sausages into his mouth in one go. Lets just say I don't want any sausages for awhile......Again, we managed to swipe a number of sandwiches and cakes which we hid in a few vomit bags we swiped from the plane to snack on during the day.

We grab all our luggage and get our arses down to reception to checkout at 7am so we can catch the 7:30am bus to Delphi. We asked the reception woman (The blind bitch who insisted that she doesn't have anything for us from the tour company) if she can keep our luggage for us until about 8pm. She told me to just leave it in the lobby. WTF? I chucked a tantrum saying that we needed it locked up and secured and not lying in a lobby. She went and charged us like $5 to have our luggage "locked up". Which turns out to be her calling the concierge to drag the suitcase and dump it in the staircase. @!?#$@#?$ And the damn staircase was out of sight from the reception as well! It would've been more secure to sit in the lobby! GRRRRRR Not wanting to waste time, we run out to try and catch a cab to Terminal B which is where the bus to Delphi leaves at. I asked the reception guy the night before how to get to Terminal B and he told me it's a 10min cab ride to Terminal B..........thats what he thinks........

We found a taxi stand and got into the first cab where the guy said he didn't speak english, so we got off and ran to the next taxi only for the guy to say he didn't know where Terminal B was. This was when my friend ran to the cab behind us and yanked the door open only to find a chick sitting in the back seat. I think she thought we were going to rob her or something. We then ran to cab #4 where the guy spoke english. We get into the cab and told him to go to Terminal B. It seemed like the understood what we were saying. He starts driving only to call a guy and ask him where Terminal B was. This was when he told us that its atleast a 1/2hr ride to Terminal B and that we won't make the bus. We paid our $8 and got out of the cab. WE MISSED OUR BUS TO DELPHI!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

We sat down at the nearest cafe to get some caffiene into us whilst we decide what to do. We pull out a book and made a group decision to go to Sounion. The history of the place is that the son goes off to fight a monster and he told his dad that if he wins, he will sail back to the island with white sails. Only the stupid moron forgot he told his dad, the king, and sailed back with black sails. Thinking his son died in battle, the guy throws himself off the cliff and kills himself. Talk about getting screwed. I bet the son did it on purpose just so he can get the throne! The scheming bastard! Yep.....definetly a place we want to go to! It sounds like a H.I storyline!! aheaheAE We catch a train to the bus station (And no its not Terminal B) only to realise that everyone really needed to pee. BAD. So we snuck into a musuem by avoiding the security for our peeing session before we all jumped onto the bus. We popped a few motion sickness tablets and passed out for the whole trip. By the the we woke up, we were at Sounion. The view there was awesome! I think I even managed to get tan! We did some filming, lots of photos and numerous suicide and homicide attempts by trying to shove someone off the cliff. Too bad I failed. :T Next time maybe.

We catch the bus back to Athens for a bit of shopping where we spent more money on Oil Paintings! How many of these things can you buy FFS!? *SigH* that another $30 down the drain.....

After last night's "Pita" incident, we felt safer going to a little corner store and getting a proper pita from there. It was good pita! So good that we decided to call Cherry and get our friend to be "Pierre" and tell her that she has a good "behind". I think she was flattered? Who the hell gets flattered by a complete stranger calling their mobile talking about their ass!? What type of sick person doesn't hang up and has a conversation with a freak!? FFS!

After a long day, we drag our asses back to the hotel only to grab all our bags and move it to the backpackers hostel. You see.....we've been staying at hotels for the entire trips. Fresh linen and towels everyday, our beds are remade, breakfast is served and we get new soap everyday. Well they don't have any of that in the hostel! And we didn't have towels! Or soap! >_< We ended up wiping ourselves dry with old dirty clothes which kinda defeated the whole purpose of the shower in the first place.....

Since our flight to Istanbul tomorrow is at 8am......that means we had to get up at 4:30am the next day.....we decided to screw the big night out and have a quiet one. Luckily it was quite an incident free day. Except us missing the bus to Delphi. Oh and us eating more Pitas for dinner....UGH. NO MORE PITA!

Day 9 - Revisiting Athens

After an exhausting night, we managed to drag our lazy asses out of bed. Well most of us did anyway. For those who were still fast asleep and severely allergic to the sun before 11am, we managed to go to the buffet breakfast and steal a nice big breakfast which features bacon and eggs, sandwiches, fruit, cake and mouldy bread. Yes. Mouldy bread. As I was trying to wrap the food up in napkins, I noticed the bread had a strange green tinge to it. Ahhhhhh the joys of staying at a top of the range hotel and eating food that people wipe their arse with. Although I must admit their cake was awesome. After wrapping all the food, egg and all, in my jacket, we managed to sneak back into the room before the oil from the bacon soaked into my jacket. ]

First stop for the day was the Australian Embassey. I needed to make sure I find the place before I get arrested for smashing someones face into a pita roll. I mean......IF I smash their face into a pita roll.......anyyyyyyyway......despite getting lost, we finally found the damn place so some people can vote. I should've voted a second time. Not like they check my damn ID anyway. I should've voted as Cherry and get her arrested. Making out of there without setting off the alarm, we made our way to our friend's backpacker place so he can pick up a few items from the bag they were supposed to deliver there. When we arrived, the woman said that they did infact deliver a bag, but because my friend didn't stay there last night, and he didn't call, they sent the bag back to the airport. Oh FFS. We quickly call the airlines and after much arse sucking, they agreed to deliver it again. This time we made sure the woman knows to keep the bag. You know.....if we didn't get our friend to stay with us.....he wouldn't have lost his bag a second time! God we try to be nice and we screw people over anyway!

Sorting that mess out, we head to the Olympic Stadium. Yes! Its been four year!! Catching a train there, we noticed that the place was a tad quiet. The reason? We were there after the Olympics and they had closed the entire stadium and barracaded the place to do renovations! I mean for crying out loud! Who the hell goes to the Olympic Stadium AFTER the olympics besides us? We stood outside the damn place, got a few photos and left.

Despite the LUSCIOUS breakfast of mouldy bread, we were starving. We went to the next train station and found ourselves a restaurant and managed to scoff down the food before the local dogs attacked us for it. After spending most of the day out, we realised that it would be a good idea to go to the tour company that screwed us over and chuck a fit. We ran back to the hotel only for my friend to "lose" his camera. We start having a panic attack as to where the camera can be, when did we last see it, whether it was stolen and who the hell dares mess with us. This was when I asked the question of "Was the camera on the front of your belt or the back of your belt?". "belt...?" Yes.....the camera was securely attached to my friends belt. We all had a heart attack for nothing! After a group hug, we ran back to our room, grabbed the tour company's address and stormed off seeking bloody revenge.

Storming into the office, we're faced by a couple of chicks. The rage and fury within my friend quickly fizzled to a warm pile of fresh shiet. So much for our tantrum. We got a letter off them and then THANKED them before walking out. I'm disgusted with myself! FFS!! WHERE IS MY RAGE!? Mykono screwed me over.......I've been too relaxed for too long. We decide to go back to the hotel right after my friend managed to finger the elevator, spend $80 on CDs and sculled a hot coffee all at the same time.

Needing a bit of excitement after the tantrum that didn't happen, we got our friend to call Cherry and heap on a bit of abuse before we headed out for some exploring and dinner. We managed to get targeted by a bunch of crazy guys with backpacks forcing us to buy CDs off them. And you know what type of CDs I'm talking about. The obvious person will ignore them and walk away, yet some lunatic within our group decided to entertain the guy and started flipping through the CDs. The guy wouldn't stop shoving CDs into my friend's hands! He ended up holding like 20CDs and the guy kept shoving it in his face! In the end, after much negotiation and yelling and screaming, we threw $70 in his face and bolted.

After that ordeal, it was dinner time. There wasn't much else besides having pita rolls. We ordered a pita each and sat down. After about 30mins, we each got a plate where the pita was rolled out flat on it. Being as hungry as we were, we scoffed the food down and asked for the bill. Here is the fun bit. The pitas are $1.90 each. We estimated that it will cost us less then $10. The bill comes and it was under $10. We stupidly thought that we would wait around for the change. The waiter comes to take the money, has a look at what we had and said the bill was wrong, walked back inside and came out with a bill for $25. Like WTF? He said we didn't order a pita when we ordered a pita. We argued for awhile and in the end we just paid the $25 and decided to hit the bottle instead.

Following some directions, we found the Lavabore night club which was supposedly the most happening night club in Athens. The place where all tourist goes. I think those were the same words they used when we first heard of the Skandinavian bar. We walk in and there was a total of 10 people. Including us. FARKKKKKKKKKKK @#%$#&^$@&$* *SigH* we decided to have 1 drink since it was happy hour between 10pm-11:30pm and we'll go buy our own alcohol and drink in the hotel later. After we got our drinks, we sat down waiting for 5mins to pass so we can leave the damn place. The next thing you know, it was a damn sausage parade! About 50 guys walked into the club within the space of 5 minutes. Like WTF? After my whole experience on Mykonos, this was not a good thing. Luckily after about 10mins and 100 people later, we started to see chicks filter in. This was absolutely insane! It was like the entire Athens young population decided to walk in at the same time.

Being Happy Hour with lots of guys and girls to perve on, we hit the bar again. It was 10:45pm. The bartender told us happy hour was over. We argue and he finally gives the drinks to us at happy hour prices. We decided to play drinking games which meant that the drinks were going down fast. After visit to the bar at 11pm ended up with an argument with the bartender who insisted happy hour is over despite the fact that his watch and our watch says 11pm! We even shoved their brochure that advertises the happy hour in their face! FFS! We got our drinks for cheap again since I think he was outnumbered and we had a murderous look in our eyes. As we got closer to 11:15, we thought we better get more drinks incase we argue with the bartender again. We were going to double up on each drink. But guess what? He claims its 11:30 already! This time, we had a pretty full on argument which ended up with him talking to the manager who was fed up with us and told us that this was the last round of happy hour drinks we were getting! For fucks sake! We can't even go out to drink without getting into a fight with some moron who can't tell the time or who can tell the time but were trying to rip us off!

After about 5 Gin and tonics that was double the size of what they serve in Sydney, I had more than my fair share of alcohol, we all headed back to the hotel dancing and screaming. This time we were all too drunk to sneak anyone into the hotel and wayyy too gone to try and create a distraction. We just paraded right into the lobby, past the old guy and into the lift. This is when I drop to the floor so I could squat like the asian that I am. We get to our floor and SOME ASSHOLE runs out of the elevator and tries to slam the door in my face! This elevator didn't have the sliding doors. They had the old style swinging doors which you have to manually open to get into the lift. So here I was, on my knees trying to keep the door open so I can get off with a moron standing on the other side of the door pushing with all his strength to close the door so I get sent back down to the lobby. After much screaming and laughing and death threats, I managed to CRAWL out of the elevator on my hands and knees and crawl my way into the hotel room.

I think we all passed out within 5 minutes.

You know it's bed time when......

You know its time for bed when you decide to wander into the livingroom at night to see what is there to do and when you turn on the lights, the light bulb blows up. I know lightbulbs died with a pfitzzz sound. But this was different. It BLEW up. Like glass shattering explosion. Luckily, our lights are in the shape of a shell and managed to catch most of the shrapnel. Which reminds me...I should call dad and let him know...

Day 8 - The Escape

Learning from yesterdays lesson, we went down to the reception first thing in the morning to see if there are any ferries. The tour agency also promised to call us first thing in the morning with instructions on how to escape this damn island. The guy at the reception told us that the tour agency gave us a call and told us to leave our tickets. Huh? Leave what tickets? Whats happening to our ferry? Are there ferries? Who's giving us new tickets? The guy had no idea. He took down a message he didn't understand and didn't transfer the call to our room because he didn't want to "wake us up". WTF? Who doesn't transfer such an important call? I bet if the hotel was on fire he wouldn't call us and just let us burn in hell! We told him to call the person back and find out wtf he was talking about. But he didn't know the guys name and when we called the number, we had no answer. He told us to eat whilst he tries to contact the guy he doesn't remember. This was when I got attacked by a cat. I'm sitting at the table scoffing honey and cakes with sandwhiches down my throat when this cat leaps onto my lap and tries to steal my food. In my panic I threw the cat onto the ground which sat there staring at me whilst I ate. I chose to ignore the cat who wanted food and ended up pawing at my jeans and almost ripping it to shreds. Meanwhile the reception guy is still trying to call the guy he doesn't know back.

We pulled out our tour information sheet and find a few more numbers to call. No one was answering any of the phones. This was when this chick rocks up who organises tours for the various islands. She came to the hotel to tell the other people staying there that all the hydrofoils were cancelled due to the weather. The larger ferries were still running but thats no bloody help to us is it? We sat at reception for the next hour trying to figure out what to do whilst trying to make the various calls. We finally got in touch with the guy who called who told us that we can catch the 1pm ferry to Tinos and then change a ferry to Santorini. The catch? Theres a 5hour wait at Tinos and when we do get to Santorini, it'll be 2am in the morning. WTF!? So we called the main branch of the tour agency which is situated in Athens and not Mykonos and the chick there tells us the same thing despite the fact that yesterday she had promised that she will book us flights off the island. We asked her what happened to the flight so shes like, oh, I'll see what I can arrange and then calls back to tell us that all flights to Santorini has been booked out. Our only option is to catch the ferries to arrive at Santorini past midnight. So I start chucking a fit asking wtf are we going to do for the 5hours at Tinos whilst waiting for the damn connecting ferry with all our luggage? The bitch says "I don't know. Go have coffee." At this point I was about to explode and vomit cake all over the reception because I was so pissed off. We asked her if we go to Santorini, can she gaurantee that we can get back to Athens on the day we've planned because we need to catch a flight to Istanbul. And if we miss those flights are they going to pay for it. She's like, you've got travel insurance, thats what its for. @#%*)$@#_$*#%!*@#$%*&@!#$_!%*$@#%$_#!*^_#$@*^

*Insert tantrum here*

We decided that we don't want to risk it, knowing our luck so far so we decided to ask to go back to Athens. This part was actually quite funny because when Moishii was talking on the phone, he had the most desperate voice saying "Look, is there ANYWAY AT ALL that we can get off this island!?!??!" The woman points out theres the 2am Santorini option where we will arrive on a totally foreign island with no idea where our hotel is. "Look! We just want to get OFF THIS ISLAND!! Even if we go to Athens!" hahahaha Someone sounded like they've been trapped on this island for 3 months and not 1 extra day. We decided to screw it. We're booking a flight to Athens! We called the local travel agent and found out that there was only 3 more seats left on the plane. This is when we all screamed out, "YES BOOK THE SEATS!!". We had our booking and we were ready to get out of here!!!

Meanwhile, whilst this whole big incident was unfolding before our eyes, these 2 aussies rocked up the reception with their luggage ready to check out. We had to break the news to them that their ferrie is also cancelled. They looked at us like we just slapped them in the face and then slapped their boobs. They asked us wtf are they going to do. We answered "Wait in the reception like us". So they did. We went into town to do some last minute shopping and pick up our tickets which resulted in a group hug, made our way back to the hotel to find the Aussie chicks sleeping at reception. I mean what type of sickos really listen to us and stay at reception!?

Oh, we saw the $40 woman again. And the Crazy Hat Woman. And the Constipated woman. Moishii got burped in the face when we were shopping and I got picked up by a 60yr old guy at the local mini market who started telling me how beautiful I am and whether I'm single or Married etc. This all happened because some asshole was too cheap arse to buy a drink at the local sandwhich store and sent me to the mini market to buy them a can of coke. This is a screw that goes on the list.

We made our way to the airport which cost us twice as much as getting to the ferry port despite the fact that it was half the distance. We got there where we weren't allowed to check in and got shooed away by security. WTF? After waiting for about 15mins they finally decided to let us check in after they had a coffee and a cigarette. I stupidly paid $6 for this roll of cheese deep fried in pastry which almost made me throw up all over the xray machine. We sat down and waited for our flight and realised that we got seat numbers 9a and 9c with someone sitting in the middle. WTF? When we got onto the tiny twin engine plane we realised that all rows are missing seat B and E. o_O Ok.....The flight takes off and we made a VERY BUMPY way to Athens. It may have been a 20min flight, but I lost 3 years off my life because of that ride! The air hostess starts serving orange juice, and 2 rows before they get to us, they run back to their seats and strap on their seat belts. Not only did we not get our OJ (What is it with us and OJ?) but we had a rollercoaster ride of our life. I've flown on planes since I was 2 months old. Flying doesn't do anything for me. However, this is the first time in my LIFE that I have gripped onto the arms of the seat for my dear life. I mean if there was a dead bird on board that would stop the shaking and turbulence I would've licked the damn thing if I had to. 10mins into the flight I hear this loud POP which caused me to grip the first thing I could lay my hands on. I look out of the window to see this peice of metal sticking out from the body of the plane. !@#^@#%&$@#%%^ After a VERY shaky landing, everyone starts getting up from their seats before the damn plane stops. We get off the plane and then realise that the really loud POP we heard was the flaps that open for the wheels. Would've been nice to know that before the landing.....

Here is the bit where I explain what happens after arriving in Athens. I don't know wtf possessed us to do the following.......

We realised that we will be arriving in Athens the same day that our friend is also arriving in Athens. Our immediate thought? Lets wait at the airport for his flight. We went to information and found out that a flight from London will be coming in at 5:20pm. It was 2:30pm. We *could* go to the hotel and check in and then come back......but then we would probably get screwed by paying $100 for travelling or that we would miss our friend. 3 hours wasn't so long. Besides, we had alot of stuff we could do. Like organise our accomodation for Athens and Istanbul. First things first, FOOD. Knowing how expensive everything in greece is, and us being at the airport meant everything will cost more we opted for Maccas. I mean there is only so many pitas and souvlakis you can have in a row before you get seriously constipated. After spending $20 on maccas and me almost breaking my neck by sitting on a broken bench with a guy who looked like he was going to vomit on us from drinking too much beer at Maccas, we went down to the arrivals lounge and found ourselves some free Internet terminals.

Sending off a few very important emails and arranging accomodation for Athens and Istanbul, we had finished all our errands about 4. Only 1.5hrs til our friend arrives. Wrong. The flight has been delayed for 2 hours. Yep......we're faced with the same problem. do we wait the extra 3.5 hours? I don't wtf we were thinking when we found ourselves some seats and sat at arrivals. Luckily we seated ourselves next to a coffee shop. I was hoping the smell of grinded coffee will keep us awake and we wouldn't actually need to buy a coffee. What I didn't count on was that the smell will be so enticing we spend over $10 on coffee.

To help kill time, we decided to make welcome signs. The problem was we had no cardboard and no paper. Even the newsagency doesn't sell them. We ended up tearing up some envelopes and a greetings card and proceeded to make our welcome signs. Sniffing texta fumes is really fun when you have alot of time to waste. When the flight finally touches down, we race to the gates with all our luggage holding signs like raving lunatics. We got our camera ready to take a photo and video of our friend's reaction when he sees us. We got told off by the security guard for filming a restricted area. He looks like he wanted to grab the camera off Moishii and shove it up his arse. That would have been interesting. Camera goes off and we wait. And we wait. And we wait some more. WTF was he?! An hour passes and so does a horde of people. Did we miss our friend? Did he go out a different exit? We start panicking. Our hearts are racing, our stomache is knotted and we're hyperventilating. We finally see our friend walk by. But he wasn't walking towards customs/exit. He was walking in the direction of the other end of the airport. Was he going to a different belt to collect his luggage? What if he goes out the nearest exit which is the other side of the airport. We ask the security guard as to what is happening and apparently the airline has lost a bit of luggage and people are taking their time filling out lost luggage forms. Nah......that wouldn't happen to our friend. Maybe he just like to dwindle and take it easy.

He finally comes out of the exit with a look of shock/horror/disgust with a bit of delight rolled in. We jump him for a big group hug. He was thrilled! (I think...). And yes......they lost his luggage. They did give him an overnights pack as well which contained all the toiletries, a tshirt and a pair of undies.....all branded "British Airways". We find out from information that there are buses right to our hotels doorstep. And it only costs us about $5. Not the $100 we paid. @#%@#&^ Sitting on the bus we do a quick catch up as to what has been happening when this woman sitting infront of us turns around and gives us a dirty look like we were just discussing child pornography or something. WTF is your problem woman!?

We put together a plan where we sneak our friend into the hotel instead of him going to a hostel. We leave him standing outside the hotel whilst I get followed by a blackguy who won't stop talking to me. We check in, dump our bags and go looking for our friend. He goes missing. After much searching, we find him sitting by the side of the road with a bag of bananas. o_O Apparently he got solicited by a Greek guy who wanted to take him to a bar and make him buy drinks for alot of chicks. We finally sneak our way into the hotel so we can all have a quick shower. Only problem was we ran outta towels and forced our friend to use a handtowel who had to dash out to grab his clothes. LoL

We go out for some dinner and hope to find ourselves a good night club to go to. I mean one where there is actually people. Unlike the Skandinavian bar. I mean we're in the heart of the city centre for crying out loud. How hard is it to find a bar to go to!? After searching around for an hour, we go back to the room and crash.

Day 7 - We're TRAPPED

Ahhhhhh 10am ferry means we get up at 8:30, stroll downstairs for a nice breakfast of honey and cake and sandwiches before we slowly make our way to the Ferry port at 9:15 giving us over 45mins to relax whilst waiting for our ferry. We cab it to the port and drag our luggage to the wharf. There are two massive ferries already at the port. Looking at our ferry tickets, our ride was called the Sea Jet 2. A hydrofoil that is basically a smaller boat but it also means that it can travel alot faster. Looking around we don't see any hydrofoils. We walk to the other end of the port and we see nothing. There was also no one at the port. Strange. Hmmmmmm it was then we realised that there are TWO ports. The new port and the old port. We assumed that we will be departing from the new port. With the old port half way around the island, we decided to run to the nearest travel agent and confirm where our ferry was.

Moishii had left me with all the luggage whilst he trekked up the hill to ask for some directions. At this point, 3 massive dogs run towards me and surrounds me. One of the dogs had a blue eye and a brown eye. This was reminding me of the evil one eyes woman in Athens. Coincidence? Whilst the evil crazy eyed dog sat 1m away from me, the other one started circling our luggage like it was deciding where to pee on it. The other dog was busy trying to attack another man who eventually managed to run away. As I was defending our luggage from being peed on (Don't ask me why because he was only sniffing at Moishii's suitcase anyway) Moishii walks back. Actually, he can barely walk because he was trying hard not to laugh at the image of me standing in the middle of an empty port surrounded by suitcases and 3 dogs. I also noticed he had a look that suggested that he was suffering from anal leakage. He walks up to me and starts laughing at my face and trying to shoo the dogs away. When I eventually got his attention, he said he had news and he didn't know how to break it to me.

"The boat is on the other side of the island isnt it?"
"Due to weather conditions, all ferries have been cancelled"
"...."
"......"
"You're kidding right?"
"No...."
*Ear splitting scream* ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*Jumps up and down screaming and stomping the floor and kicking the suitcase*

After letting the news sink in, we headed to the tourist information centre to try and score some cheap accomodation. We quickly book a room smack bang in the middle of the town at a good rate and started dragging our luggage in that direction. Half way across town did we think to call our tour company. Well DUH. After multiple phone calls and numerous wrong numbers, we finally manage to contact them who told us that they will be arranging accomodation for us in Mykonos. They also asked if we can go to the local travel agents to see if we can book a flight or any other ferries off the island. Moishii set off to the local travel agent as I sat at the town square with all our luggage when I met this New Zealand couple who was also trapped on the island. However, they found out much earlier than us that the ferries were cancelled and managed to book a flight to Athens. I started talking with them which was when they told me that the weather has been beautiful in the island and the parties were happening everywhere until a few days ago when the weather started turning bad and people started leaving. A few days ago......that was when we arrived on the island!! SCREWED!!

Anyway, all flights were booked and we were trapped. Luckily we had accomodation. Infact, we had double accomodation. Therefore it was my mission to go back to the tourist information centre to try and get a refund on our deposit. I went back to the woman and put on some sob story about how our tour company refuses to reimburse us for accomodation that we booked because we could be upping the price and ripping them off rar rar and I looked like I was going to throw up on her if she didn't give me a refund. I went back to Moishii with the refund in our pocket when I realised that in our rush to pack the night before, we had decided to dump half a bottle of vodka because we didn't want to risk it leaking all over our clothes. WE MUST GET BACK TO THE HOTEL PRONTO! We cabbed it back and rushed to the reception where the guy gave us our same room back which was yet to be cleaned. WE SAVED OUR BOTTLE OF VODKA!!

Dumping all our luggage, we had nothing to do and headed into town. Along the way we stopped by the exchange woman's place to have a chat with her as to what day tours we could do. We found out that we had missed every single tour of the day!!!! Not only we were stranded, we had nothing to do!!! Moishii got so pissed off that he declared "I'm having sex tonight!". In frustration, we ran to the nearest phone booth and called Cherry where we left her a very nice message.

"You suck! We're trapped on this bloody island because of you! All ferries have been cancelled! YOU CURSED US!! This if your fault! I'm never going to forgive you!!"

We felt so much better after that call. We headed to the 24hr cafe that was only open 12 hrs a day and ordered ourselves more authentic toast and coffee. I decided that we should go sit in the corner so we can hide because of the whole *Insert J incident* but I ended up screwing myself over because we were *Insert J Incident again*!!!!!!! FARKKKKKKKK This was NOT a good day!

Following the advise of the exchange woman, we bused it to Ornos which supposedly had a great beach and lots of things to do. We arrived at Ornos only to see a beach. And more beach. There were 2 problems here.

1. We didn't have our swimming costumes with us
2. Even if we did, the freakin wind storm that cancelled all ferries in the first place did not allow us to sunbake without us losing our skin. And the best bit? Theres no buses for another other. We took a few happy snaps and sat around the bus stop waiting for our bus. It was late. There were a group of people milling around waiting for a bus that won't show up. Moishii decided to wander around when a taxi pulled up near the bus stop. A woman gets into the cab, then she yells at me "Are you going to Mykono City Centre?". And before we could reply, she slammed the door in my face and they drove off. FFS!!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE!? Do I have "SLAM YOUR FUCKIN DOOR IN MY FACE" Tattooed across my chest or something? Why even bother asking if you didn't want an answer? Were you scared I was going to jump into the taxi and slap your boobs around or something!? FFS! Anyway, I would never do anything like that! Moishii will be the one playing drums on your chest you slut!!!

*Deep breaths* The bus finally rocks up after being 15mins late. Its like 15mins from one side of the island to the other side! God knows why they took so long! We were only around the corner! After almost having our clothes blown off, we made it back to town just in time to do a bit of shopping. We managed to bump into Petros again. Ahhhh the womaniser! He was surrounded by chicks who absolutely adore him! Took me ages to get his attention. Suddenly, out of no where this turkish guy burst out from a restaurant and starts screaming and smacking Petros for trying to steal food from the restaurant? WTF? Petros, in the confusion ran and hid in the kitchen where he was welcomed with open arms! Pffft damn turkish guy didn't know what he was on about! He had no right to treat Petros like that!! BASTARD! We continued to walk around since Petros was in hiding and we saw this restaurant that was packed to the brim with people. They must have good food! I ran up the hill to have a look at their menu. All of a sudden this guy runs out and grabs me and starts talking to me. I had no idea what was going on! Was there an assassin? Is he grabbing onto me so he can throw me out of the way of a bullet? I got spun around whilst he kept babbling on about something. Then I saw him waving at Moishii who was capturing the whole thing on film! FFS! What type of sicko sees me getting grabbed and films it instead of saving me? I managed to break free and we made a ran for it.

This was when the whole $40 woman thing occurred. We also bumped into the constipated woman and also the crazy hat woman! This was also the same day when the OJ incident occurred! OMG!!!! I JUST REALISED I HAD THE DOOR SLAMMED IN MY FACE 3 TIMES IN ONE DAY!!! ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING!? ITS NOT LIKE I DON'T WANT TO GET OFF THE ISLAND! YOU GUYS CANCELLED THE FREAKIN FERRIES!! DEAL WITH IT!!!

UGH! We need to blog! We ended up at an internet cafe were we spent $20AUD for blogging for 1 hour! WTF? I could buy a kidney for $20!! I've had it! Back to the hotel for siesta time!!!

I've had it with Greek food. Considering we were paying on average $40-$60 a meal, we tend to opt for the cheaper dishes which had very similar themes. Grilled meat. Egg plants. Tomatos. Oil. I was going to throw up if I had anymore "Greek" food. Italian it was! Wandering the streets with our saved bottle of vodka, we crash into the downstairs of the Skandinavian bar. I decided that I needed something else besides Vodka OJ (Since we finished all of it and we weren't even tipsy). A shot of B-52 should sort me out. Someone wanted to be difficult and told the bar tender that they didn't want anything and when my drink came, decided that they wanted the exact same thing. A few shots later, we staggered out of the bar and upstairs where they were playing some screwed up 70s? 80s? alternative music. I didn't even know how to move! When I tried to boogie, I look like someone had shove a crab down my pants and a cat down my shirt and started beating me with a cactus! This was not going to work. To spice up the night, we decided to go to Bar Porta. Yep. Rememer bar Porta? With the rainbow flags? Well we're pussies ok? We walked back and forth outside the door about 5 times and couldn't go in. More B-52s. Nope! Can't get myself to go in. We wander around so we didn't look like total dickhead walking past Bar Porta nonstop and somehow ended up at the Veranda bar. You think our $15 vodka orange juice was expensive? This place was selling them for $30! We sat down and had the menu shoved in our face. I tried to stall the waitress whilst someone took happy snaps of the great view we had. This was when I noticed that we were getting followed *Insert Incident GG*. Not good! We made a run for it. Which was when *Insert incident FG*.

Having no where else to go, we headed back to the Skandinavian bar hoping the music was better. Nopes. We didn't even have to go upstairs to tell half of the people have left cos of their shit music that night. We had no other alternative. Head up, chest high, buttocks tight. We walk into Bar Porta. We found ourselves a stool and sat in the corner. 5min timer starts........NOW. I think we lasted a total of 2 minutes before we bolted out of there. I give up.....we heading towards the cab stand since we were waking up early tomorrow in hope to get off the island. Guess what? No cabs. What a day..........

I'm going to start charging soon!!

I have been informed that some ASSHOLE has been spreading my blog around to their entire company!! Apparently the whole workplace is now reading my blog and is addicted! LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! Get back to work!! And you! Lyric! DIE YOU BIAAAAAAAAAAAATCH! I'm going to start charging each and every one of you an MP3 player for reading my blog without my permission and for also associating yourself with certain people that have been BLACKLISTED.

Day 6 - Platis Gialos and the whole Skandanavian Bar incident

HANGOVER! We passed out way past when breakfast was served. We headed towards down and stopped by a 24hr cafe that only opens for 12 hours a day for some authentic *Cough* greek toasted sandwiches and crepes and coffee where we saw *Insert Incident J*. Talk about awkward situations. I dashed into the exchange woman's place again for more money considering we spent so much of it drinking. She recommended that we go to Platis Gialos beach which was where all the celebrities and famous people go when they come to Mykonos. We trekked our way back up the massive hill to get to our beach gear.

Along the way we noticed what beautiful scenary there was all around us and we decided to stop by the side of the road to take some photos. Moishii, not satisfied by the shots he took, decided to sneak into someones drive way to get some better happy snaps. He kept yelling OMG!! THIS IS A GOOD PHOTO OPPORTUNITY!! Then this massive German Shepard comes pounding towards us. I have never seen someone turn tail and run so fast. Wait.....run wasn't correct. Waddle in thongs were more like it. I almost peed myself laughing!!! AHAHAHAHA

After our "Getting chased by a dog" incident, we heading back into town to catch a bus. Luckily, the bus to Platis Gialos was quite empty this time and there was no toe stomping. By the time we got to the beach, it was way after lunch. We quickly chose our beds and umbrellas when some other guy comes running demanding for money. This time it was $14. I knew we should've went to the other side of the beach which had the coushioned beds! But then if we did move, we would have missed out on seeing a dog suck on a woman's tits on the beach whilst they were hanging out of her bikini. We would have also missed out on seeing people walking around with cardboard signs offering to give us a traditional swedish massage in greece. Abd we would have definetly missed out on getting sand whipped.

What is sand whipped you ask? Sand whipped is when you are lying on your beach chair and enjoying the non-skin burning sun and taking a nap when a gust of wind whips you with a kilo of sand. The feeling? Imagine someone tabogganing over your skin with sand paper. The pain was excrutiatingly nice. We were on holiday. EVERYTHING had to be nice. After a few hours of sand whipping, I managed to locate my shorts which had been buried by the sand storm and we headed back. We stopped at a kebab place and got a pita each. Bad Bad BAD idea. I have never felt so greased up in my life. I could've vomited the whole thing out and it would've taken less than 5 seconds because my insides were so greased up. After buying more Oil Paintings, we headed back to the hotel for another siesta. It was at this point that we realised that there were actually buses that took us right to the front step of our hotel. ARGHHHHHHHHH ALL THE HIKING!!! We probably did over 5km in the past few days just getting to and from the hotel! *SigH*

After our Siesta, we finally came to without throwing up any pita and got ready for another night out. Vodka water bottles were ready, overdose of cologne was ready, hair was Effie like. We were set. With the nice gale force wind happening outside, we cabbed it into town. This was when we bumped into *Insert Incident J* where we got stalked for awhile. We finally snuck our way to Nikos again where we met up with Petros. Ahhhhhhh........dear old Petros. Have I told you how cute he was? *^_^*

This time, instead of trying to find another bar to go to, we heading straight to the Skandanavian bar again. Like there was any other bar with people in it on this island. This is where everything goes downhill. *Insert incident F*. But then *Insert incident FG* was around and got pissed. Luckily that passed and we got on with our bum wiggling. We then noticed this bunch of asians who looked like they were on drugs. One of the chicks kept shaking her chest and would've whipped her boobs out was she not wearing a crew neck shirt. The guy was more than happy to shake his thing. Infact, he was shaking everything he had on the dance floor! Hair and all body parts. Somehow, a bunch of the asians ended up rolling around the floor after I almost got jumped by 2 of them. I don't know what drugs they were on, but I wanted some. Oh, Moishii also had a 40yr old Chick in a floral top drooling over him. I think she wanted to jump him and devour him. AHEAheaHE

It was around this time when *Insert S* appeared. I was so happy and excitied!! This might actually work!! But as *Insert S* was going to happen, so did *Insert FG incident*........I was totally freaked out!! Then the whole *Insert incident J**Insert more* which was when I almost scratched my nose off waiting to be saved! WHAT TYPE OF SICKO LOOKS ME RIGHT IN THE EYES, LAUGH AND THEN TURN AWA Y!! We ran out of the bar and hid in a bar below us. Looking around, something was wrong. There was not a single female in this bar......all guys.....very nicely dressed guys.....I look towards the front door only to see a rainbow flag hanging there. OH MY FREAKIN GOD WE WERE IN A GAY BAR!!! We dashed out into the freezing cold wondering what to do. We needed our jackets. We head back into the Skandanavian bar to grab our jackets when *Insert Incident J Part 2*. I then headed to the toilet where *Insert J Incident Part 3*. Like FREAKIN @#)%*$@#)%*@#%*^@#$^ I was freaking out and then some selfish bastard grabs their jacket and tries to leave without me!! LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Anyway, we decided to go look for Petros but I think he had an early night and did not want to be disturbed. I've had just about enough after being screwed left right and center by every Tom, Dick and Harry on the Island and decided to head home. We decided to make a bolt for it and ended up in some deserted side alley. This was when *Insert Incident J Part 3*. WHY DON'T YOU FREAKIN LISTEN?! WHO THE HELL TRIES TO OVERTAKE RIGHT WHERE THE ROAD NARROWS?! FFS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR We quickly duck to the right where we found another bar that actually had people in it! *GASP* ITS A MIRACLE!!! Unfortunetly, it was only just a bar. No music, no dancing, just people standing around drinking.

Filled with new hope that there must be other bars that are happening on the Island, we made a decision to go wandering again. BAD IDEA. We went past the Gay bar and towards the sea only to *Insert Incident J part 4*. @#$*)!@#%*!$@#%*@#%* WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO TALK TO HIM!? You will pay for screwing me over!!! ARGHHH We went to the nearest kebab shop, grabbed a drink and sat on an oily staircase recapping what happened tonight. YOU SUCK!!! This feels like Hidden Intentions plus Home and Away plus Mile High with a bit of Jerry Springer thrown in!! We call it a night and finally head home.

We get to the Taxi Stand only to find no Taxis. There was also no buses at the Bus stop either. The 24hr cafe wasn't open so we couldn't even sit around waiting for a Taxi. Screwed. We hiked all the way back to the hotel at 2:30am in the morning. Like WTF?

Day 5 - Paradise Beach

Despite the insane night we had before, we got up at 8:30 to dash to the reception hoping that they can contact the tourist information office and see if they have our ferry tickets. After scoffing down honey and cake, we finally got the call. THEY HAVE OUR FERRY TICKETS! We dashed back to the room, got changed and quickly hailed a cab to their office. After checking that they are indeed our tickets, we threw our arms around each other like we just got released from prison and laughed and cried like lunatics. Composing ourselves, we decided to do some quick shopping around the island before we headed to the beach. 3 words. Postcards, Oil paintings.

We hiked our way up the hill, through the gale force wind whilst dodging cars that we're trying to run us down and finally got back to the hotel. We dumped all of our shopping, changed into our swim wear and hiked all the way back into town.

We quickly jumped onto a bus to Paradise beach. Actually, jump isn't the right word. Its too easy and carefree. Try the words crawl, squeeze, squish, push, climbed our way into a bus that was packed to the brim. We ended up standing on the back steps of the bus squashed right up against the door! Sardines in a can is nothing compared to what we had to go through. The worst part was that the bus was crammed to the brim with kids. And the way off the bus was pass us and over our feet. I'm lucky to still have 10 toes left after that ordeal.

Arriving at Paradise Beach, we picked out a nice spot close to the water that had beach beds and umbrellas. As we were settling down and trying to relax, some strange arse guy walked up to us and demanded money for using the beds. GDI. Who the hell pays $12 to use an umbrella and a bed? Not like we needed the umbrella anyway. I wasted about 30mins slapping sunscreen on due to my fear of getting severly sunburned only to freeze my arse off in the sun. It was around this time that we noticed that all the people to the left of us were normal and all the people to right of us were naked. There were Boobs and Dicks EVERYWHERE! Like OMG! I quickly whipped on my sunnies and buried my head in a book. For some unknown reason, SOME PEOPLE kept looking around and finally spotted a potential Sugar Daddy for Cherry. He was quite attractive. I mean he was thin, yet he had man boobs. And for some unknown reason, he had extremely LONG chest hair hanging from his nipples. I swear to god they were long enough to plait. The best bit? He was strutting around naked! >_<> who said hi. Avoiding eye contact, we someone managed to stumble into Nikos. We managed to score a table when Petros showed up wowing the crowd. HE WAS SO CUTE!! I JUST WANTED TO THROW MY ARMS AROUND HIM AND CUDDLE HIM!! AHEaHEaHEa He was so sweet!! awwwwwww

Anyway, during our dinner of baked pasta and stuffed eggplants that weren't stuffed, we realised that the couple next to us were actually Turkish and were over indulging a bit on Ouzo. Luckily, they knew to mix. After eavesdropping throughout the whole dinner (Not like I understood), we wandered around whilst sculling our OJ. We made a few phone calles (You know who you are) before we headed to the Skandanavian bar again. And once again, there was less than 10 people there. We decided to go wander around a bit more whilst trying to finish our drink only to find a place called the Mykonos bar. I mean, we were on Mykonos and of course we must visit the Mykonos bar. It was dead. There was a total of 6 people in there and 3 of them worked behind the bar. One came running over trying to get us to order drinks. We managed to stall him for a few minutes and the minute he turned his back, we bolted.

Yep! Back to the Skandanvian bar. It was at this moment that *Insert F* appeared. After a quick scan *Insert more unspeakable stuff here*, the coast became clear again and I was safe. After this is all becomes a blur. This could be due to the fact that someone insisted that I needed more Vodka in my water bottle and filled it with so much vodka it spilt all over me. But yes.....the rest of the night was a blur.

Day 4 - Getting to Mykonos

We had a 6:30am transfer to the port meaning we dragged our lazy arses out of bed at 5:30am. Mind you someone screwed me over and didn't tell me that my Ouzo (Kick arse strong greek drink that is 65% alcohol) didn't come premixed with water and that I had sculled an entire glass of that undiluted crap. Lets just say I wasn't a happy chappy. We were so early there was barely any food at the breakfast room. We ended up stealing half a cake and shoving it into Moishii's bag.

We jumped into the cab that was taking us the port. We were half asleep when they dropped us off in the freezing cold. We dragged a suitcase each around the port trying to find our ferry. We finally find the damn thing and shoved our suitcases in the cargo storage area. I love the security in this place. Since we were pretty early, I suggested that we explore the ferry to see what there is. We cut through a food court and climb up the stairs to the roof deck. All the cubicles were taken so we decided to head to the front of the ship only to pass through a window that had a bucket of pigs trotters in full view. WTF? This was way too weird even for us so we headed back downstairs where SOMEONE chucks a tantrum insisting that we sit at the first table we find instead of walking around. So we sit down right in the middle of a food court with a fat frying machine on one end and a nonstop coffee grinding machine on the other end. Meanwhile we have people smoking and eating and slurping their damn food all around us! We soon passout from our motion sickness tablets only to wake up with my contacts gluing my eyes shut. I finally manage to yank my eyes open and decided it would be a bad idea to fall back asleep. We pulled out a piece of paper and started listing the freaks we have met between the two of us for the past 4 years. We would've hit 4 A4 pages had we not abbreviated names and wrote in short hand. Actually, we tried to list the normal people we know but it became too hard. The conclusion is that if they are normal, they are boring and therefore not worth knowing. Oh, we also managed to get alot of scripting done as well. This is what happens when they decide to serve you frozen coffee. My butt finally felt numb from sitting for 4 hours so I decided to take a walk around the rest of the ferry only to find out that less than 20m from us were all these tables situated next to windows that gave you a perfect view of the islands. Less than 5m from that area was a room filled with couches and tvs for people to RELAX in! To the right of that room were these cushioned cubicles that you can just lie down and sleep like its a bed! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE CHUCKS A TANTRUM!!! FFS!
*Deep breaths*

We made a few stops at various islands on the way before we approached Mykonos. As we were pulling into the port, we headed towards the cargo storage room to retreive our suitcases only to find out that they went and turned off all the escalators so we ended up dragging our suitcase down 2 flights of stairs where we got stranded for over half an hour waiting for them to park the damn ferry at the port. They finally opened the door and we ended up in another cargo area where everyone was pushing and shoving. I swear I felt like I was a refugee waiting for them to open the border so I can escape into another country! We finally got off the Ferry god knows how long later only to be mobbed by about 30 people who were shoving leaflets in our faces. Apparently they all wanted me to sleep with them. I mean, ummm...they were offering us "cheap cheap accomodation! City centre! In middle!! City Centre! Cheap Cheap!!" We finally break through the crowd and realised that we have no freakin idea where our hotel is. We never considered how the hell we were going to get from the port to the hotel. We didn't even have a map of the damn island. We finally found a tourist information centre where we go in to ask for directions. I whip the hotel address out of my bag and after alot of confusion instructions, we decided to cab it to the hotel.

We managed to flag down a cab and as we were driving to the hotel, we kept looking at each other and mouthing "where is the meter?". The cabs have no meters. They charge you whatever the hell they feel like. You piss them off and they'll pull a nice high figure out of their arse. Note to self, be nice to cab drivers. We check into our room and passout after our 5:30am wake up. Somehow we finally came to when SOMEONE decided to have a shower and flood the bathroom. The ENTIRE BATHROOM WAS FLOODED! I had to wear shoes to get into the damn bathroom otherwise I'd slip and crack my head open with the remainders of my brain spilling everywhere. Whilst someone was busily destroying the bathroom, the phone rings. Who's tracked me down so quickly? Was it downstairs complaining that water was leaking into their room? I pick up and I hear a very sexy and horny voice say:

"Hi *heavy breathing* How are you?"
o_O
"Errr.....Good......who's this?"
"It's Trevor. Isn't this Kerry?"
"No....."
*hangs up*
WTF? What was he expecting? Phone sex? Not at 6pm in the afternoon your not! Booty calls are left til late at night mate.


We finally get ready to leave the room and do a bit of exploring. We wanted to lock everything away so we don't have to carry a sack with us when we go exploring only to find the tickets missing. I send Moishii to the reception only for me to remember that we had left the tickets at the damn tourist information centre! A quick call to them only revealed that the damn lazy bastards have gone home for the night. We must wait til tomorrow before we know if their cleaner threw our tickets out or not.

Since we couldn't do anything, we walked the very windy, very winding, very steep road to the city centre with cars tearing around us at 70km/hr. Mind you this is a very narrow road that barely lets 2 cars pass each other let alone people and cars. After our near death experience, we finally made it to the centre of the town. I quickly dash into the only money exchange place that was open to get some dosh. We got chatting with the exchange woman who recommended that we go to Marco Polo for some authentic Greek food. We follow her instructions only to run into a porn store that sells kinky underwear and vibrators and more condoms then I would like to know about. We decided to make a detour through the less risque streets and finally find Marco Polo. The bastards were closed! All the owners were sitting outside smoking and giving us dirty looks when we interrogated them as to when they will open for dinner. I think we must've looked like a pack of starving wolves. They told us they will open tomorrow and quickly
shooed us away.

We decided to follow the road and see what we bump into. We find this shop that had oil paintings hanging everywhere. And so begins the Oil Painting obsession. We decided to ask the woman whats another good restaurant to go to and she recommended Nikos. Unfortunetly, as we had no decent map, we had no idea where Nikos is. She was kind enough to give us a proper map that actually had street names and landmarks on it. We decided she was nice enough for us to come back and buy some stuff off her. It was at this stage that she told us that she only works for fun. And that she doesn't open all the time. Like WTF? Who owns a shop and only opens it every now and then for fun. From this moment on, we refer to her as the "woman who does it for fun".

We wander around and finally decide on a restaurant after much arguing. We sat down for god knows how long with no one serving us and no menu to look at. I am dying of hunger and yet some people are too lazy to turn around to get a menu. After arguing for another 10mins, someone finally decides to turn around to grab a menu when they ran smack bang into the waiter. Not a good start. We finally ordered a mousakka each that looked like lasagne gone wrong with a plate of stuffed tomatos. We were more stuffed at the end then the tomatos. I mean for crying out loud. what type of person doesn't listen and insist on order 3 main meals for 2 people? After almost vomiting our way out of the restaurant, we wonder around aimlessly a bit more only to go into a pub to order coffee. Yes...we went to a PUB, for COFFEE. Go figure. Paying close to $16 for a our coffee, we decided to call it a cheap night and just head towards the Skandanavian bar. Apparently the most happening bar on the whole of Mykonos. There was less than 10 people when we rocked up. Half of them worked at the damn bar.

The only way to deal with this situation? We drink. We ended up spending $60AUD on 4 drinks. I could buy half the bar in turkey for that price! Atleast by the time we finished our drinks the club actually had close to 30 people! *GASP* before the alcohol could wear off, we quickly jumped onto the dance floor for a big of bum jiggling. It was at this moment where this crazy arse woman jumped infront of us, grabbed moishii and took a photo with him before he even had a chance to check out her cleavage. Our theory is that he's going to photoshop his head onto a naked body and chuck it on a gay men's beastiality website. It was at this time that I got flashed by Josh's Butt Crack. Twice. The security guard also managed to shine a spotlight on the crack as I was looking.

Meanwhile, I noticed...*Insert the unspeakable* ....., but then *Insert more of the unspeakable event* . It all happened so fast! I decided to make a get away when which then caused me to *Insert here as well* . I DON'T KNOW WTF WAS HAPPENING!! , *Insert J* and *Insert FG* were both pissed off because of this. This became too much to handle so I made a run for it, I grabbed Moishii so we could get the hell out of there. On the way out *Insert more J and FG here*, which was really starting to become freaky. This was way too much for me to deal. I needed more alcohol but couldn't afford it. Instead I opted to overdose on Listerine. which is when we decided to call it a night and go to sleep.

The Orange Juice Incident

I knew I got screwed when I paid 15 euros for 2 Vodka OJs. Thats $30 for two drinks! FFS! I need a drink but not that bad! Therefore, we opted for the cheap drunk's alternative. We went to the bottle shop and bought a bottle of vodka and decided to mix our own drinks. We walked into the local mini market to buy our orange juice when we got into a huge fight about what orange juice to buy. Some selfish bastard wanted to buy a 300ml one all for himself when we could've bought a 500ml for $1 extra and shared it. After arguing over what size to buy (Yes size matters), we went to the cashier to pay for the OJ whilst calling each other Jackass and Jacktit. We walked out of the mini market only to hear a loud BANG. We turn around and the cashier chick and slammed the door behind us! FFS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR OBSESSION FOR SLAMMING DOOR IN OUR FACE?

The $40 Woman Part 2

On our last day on Mykonos, we did some last minute emergency Oil Painting shopping. We walked by the $40 womans shop who saw us and slammed the door on us and closed the shop! FFS! Who the hell closes the shop on potential customers! Especially someone like Moishii who spent over $150 buying paintings! We go around the block and finds out that she opened the shop again once we were out of sight so we quickly dash into the store before she could slam the door on us again. I walk to the back of the store where all the oil paintings are kept and the light bulb above my head exploded on me and we were throw into darkness. I don't think she wanted us in her shop.......

The $40 woman

Alot of you are going to hear about the $40 woman eventually. Here is my attempt to explain what the $40 woman is about. We walked into a shop in Mykonos to look at the oil paintings. I asked the woman how much the painting I wanted was and she says $15 whilst chewing on something. Then Moishii asks how much another painting is and she replies $40 whilst chewing on something else. I decide to buy the painting and give her a $50 note because I needed the change. The womans goes:
*GASP* "No! No Money!"
So I give her a $20 note and she insists that I owe her another $20. I look at her mouth whilst she continues chewing on something and tell her that my painting is $15 in which she replies:
"No no no!!" *SMacks head*

I mean WTF? She obviously knew my painting was $15 otherwise she wouldn't freak at the thought of giving me change for a $50, but when I give her a $20 note, she sudden thought I owed her $40! Meanwhile, the whole time she keeps chewing on something and practically spits it in our face whilst talking to us. Moishii reckons she was chewing on gum whilst I suspect that she was either sucking her dentures clean or chewing on her tongue!

The one eyed woman

After our "incident" at the Acropolis, we went to a nearby cafe to rest and reflect on the day we've had to far. We sat inside the cafe right by this massive open window and ordered our drinks. At this exam moment, and old one eyed woman who had cateracts in her only seeing eye, walked right up to our window, stopped and then turned to stare at us. Instead of protecting me, some selfish bastid snatched the menu and used it as a shield between him and the old evil woman whilst I got cursed by the evil greek one eyed woman curse! It all went downhill from here......

Why so quiet?

I know I've been a bit quiet recently. I stopped blogging when I hit day 3 of my trip. I promise I will blog about the rest of my trip, but please wait for my jetlag to wear off first. I also have to go through my notes and censor some of the events. I guess that's where the problem is. I have hit the days where some things should just be left unsaid, but the rest of the events are kind of hard to describe without speaking the unspeakable.....Maybe when I am drunk I will spill my guts. Until then, let me reconstruct my thoughts and find the best way to express what has happened...

Day 3 - Athens sight seeing

We headed off in a random direction whilst holding a cartoon map hoping to see parts of Athens before we have to head off to the Greek Islands. Since I couldn't buy any memory cards for my camera, we decided that we should empty Moishii's memory sticks so I can use them in my camera. We find a photo shop which would do that for 5euros a CD. We had enough stuff to throw it onto 2 CDs so we left the cards with the guy whilst he transferred everything onto CD for us. We rock back up only to find out that we owe him 15euros because its 5euros a CD and if you want more than 1 card per cd, you have to pay 2.50euros per memory card. LIKE WE GOT SCREWED! That was $30AUD!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS COUNTRY IS TRYING TO SCREW ME OVER FFS! @%#$#^%#

We decided the best thing to do was to go sight seeing to help release our stress. We made our way to the Acropolis and ended up getting ripped off from buying 6 vouchers to get into 1 place. We climbed our way to the top of the mountain after almost slipping and breaking our necks to get to the Acropolis. We pulled out our cameras and started taking photos left, right and centre and made multiple mini films with commentary and an explaination as to which pile of stone was what. Around 5:30, half an hour before the whole place was locked down, SOMEONE suddenly screamed that we were at the wrong place! That the pile of stones on the other mountain was the acropolis and that we were at the wrong place! He pointed at the map and started ranting and raving. And since it was always HIS obsession to go to the Acropolis, I knew that he would never shut up about it if we went to the wrong place. I also knew I wasn't going to come back just to climb another mountain to take more photos with stones, we decided to bolt towards the "real acropolis". Instead of taking a nicely paved walkway, someone insisted that they knew a shortcut to get to the "real acropolis". I don't know what in the world I was thinking when I decided to listen to him. I guess it was jetlag plus the sunstroke, but I decided to follow him. Boy was it fun climbing down the side of the moutain that was overgrown with weeds and thorny bushes........

After tumbling down the side of the mountain, we bumped into a guy who was peeing himself in the bushes. Running around the guy, we climbed up another hill only to go around in a big loop before we ended up at another tourist booth. The guy told us that they closed at 7. I know at this stage I should have strangled someone, but since I was suffering from exhaustion and dehydration, I plodded along to the "real acropolis". When we finally arrived after 30mins of trekking, we started taking as many happy snaps and film clips as possible to make up for the photos of the "fake acropolis". Something didn't feel right. I'm sure you know where I am going with this. We asked a tour guide sitting by the pile of rocks if we were at the acropolis. Her reply? "No, the acropolis is up the other mountain".

@#)!$%*)^_@)$*@#!&%($)&@#%()&@#$%()&@#% *deep breaths*

eing totally confused, we showed her the photos we took to see if we've actually gone to the "real acropolis" and the woman goes through our photos saying "errrrrrmmmmmm......hmmmmmmm......errrrrrr......" YOUR A FREAKIN TOUR GUIDE! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THE DAMN ACROPOLIS LOOKS LIKE!? And its not like we didn't have enough photos for her to look at! As the sun was setting, we decided to call it quits and leave not knowing if we went to the acropolis or not. I swear, only can we go to a famous historical site, have no idea what is what and confuse everyone around us. Oh.......by the way, we finally found out that we DID go to the acropolis. And that its a name for the entire top of the mountain and not an individual building like SOMEONE was screaming. FFS

Day 3 - Getting to Athens

OMG....6:30am wake up call. Who the hell wakes up at 6:30am on their holiday? UGH....we were the first people there for breakfast. The waiter freaked when he walked into the breakfast hall to find us there. He didn't expect anyone to be up so early. He probably would've walked around naked if we weren't there!

The night before I wanted to buy more memory cards only to have all the stores close on me before I could buy them. After breakfast I dashed out hoping to find a store that is open to buy a few memory cards but they were all closed. So there was nothing to do but to go back to the hotel and checkout to head towards the airport. As we got into the cab, ALL the photo stores around the hotel suddenly opened their doors for business. -_-" #@%$#^

We got to Istanbul Airport only to find that we have no check-in counter. We walked around for awhile before they decided that people going to Athens will need to checkin (Well DER!) After checking in we headed towards our gate as we were allowed to start boarding. We got to the gate where they wouldn't let us board because that gate was to London. ?????????????? 15mins before we were to take off did they change the gate to Athens! GRRRR We haven't even left Istanbul and we've been screwed left right and centre!

We FINALLY made it onto the plane only for Moishii to get a seat that was broken. Everytime he leaned back, the back of the chair will flip down. It was quite amusing watching him not to lean back whilst the plane was taking off! AHeaEaHEha We decided to have a quick nap before we landed in Athens. BAD IDEA. I nearly had the top of my scalp taken off by the bloody food trolley! I was lucky enough to duck only to get my foot jammed between the seat and the trolley! FFS! Like wtf is happening!?

After all the incidents, we made it safely to Athens only for the airline to forget our luggage. The entire plane was standing around the belt waiting for the luggage for over 30mins before anything came out! Collecting our luggage we headed towards customs where there was no customs. I mean I could've bought a damn bomb into the country and they wouldn't have known!

For some STUPID reason, me and Moishii thought it would be a good idea to change our return flight to Istanbul so we get to spend an extra day in Istanbul. We were looking for the Olympic airways counter when we bumped into a Turkish guy trying to get to Germany. The only problem was that he didn't speak greek or English. So he dragged moishii off to help him translate whilst I lined up and started fighting people who were trying to jump the queue. We finally got to the counter, and without thinking, spent 40euros each (Which is $80AUD) in changing our tickets. We've totally SCREWED UP our accomodation in Athens and Istanbul....

We realised we have absolutely no idea where our hotel is or how to get there. We had no map and neither of us speak Greek (Fun!). So we did the most obvious thing. Lets catch a cab! We ended up getting a "tour" of the city whilst the meter ticked to 47 euros. When we got to the hotel, the guy turns around and goes 50euros. WHO THE HELL ROUNDS UP THE AMOUNT?! FFS! We just got royally screwed and didn't even know! All of this happened just trying to get to the damn place!

Day 2 - The Grand Bazaar Part 2

Yes! The Grand Bazaar again. I thought it was time i started buying belly dancing belts. But before we could handle such a hectic shopping session, we stopped by the cafe for a cup of turkish coffee where moishii wanted to have my cup read. He asked the shop keeper if anyone knows how to read a cup. He said to moishii "Well why don't you just make something up to entertain your japanese friend?"

LIKE FFS!
1. I'm not japanese
2. HOW THE HELL FAKES A READING?!

We headed towards the grand bazaar after where we walked into this store where it was covered with belts and I started going crazy pulling belts off the shelf and trying them on. The guy thought he scored a big customer and went and bought me an apple tea (YUM!!!) whilst I continued to pull things off the shelf and out of bags. I chose quite a few scarfs I wanted and started to bargain with the guy. He said he was giving me a special deal of $75million for all 3 things I wanted. This is the conversation that happened:

Him: 75million for you
me: 50 million
Him: No No! 75 million
me: 50 million
Him: Ok Ok 65million
Me: 55 Million
Him to moishii: Oh My god she's dangerous.

I got them for 55 Million dollars! :D Of course.....things never go so smoothly for me. As we walked away with my big bag of belts, this guy went running through the crowd and elbowed me in the back of my head! LIKE FFS! CANT I EVEN GO SHOPPING WITHOUT GETTING FARKING ELBOWED IN THE HEAD! ITS NOT LIKE I HAVE MUCH BRAINCELLS LEFT! I SHOULD'VE CHASED THE GUY AND ELBOWED HIM BACK! I WOULD HAVE IF I DIDNT HAVE CONCUSSION! FFS!

As we were leaving the Grand Bazaar with a bruise on my head, we noticed this guy(?) standing outside a shop. His whole posture said woman but everything else said penis. I guess you had to be there to appreciate the freaks we see...

We went to Ortakoy for dinner which is by the sea. We ordered my current favourite, Kofte. Which is turkish grilled meatballs of some sort. We got sausages without the skin and wedges. FFS! Even I know how to make better kofte then that. The only consolation was that the restaurant was right by the water there they give you blankets to wrap yourself in whilst having dinner. We were going to take a blanket home with us but I think we would've been arrested before we even made it out of the restaurant.

There were quite a few markets around Ortakoy including this store that sold scarfs. They drap the scarfs on a table and by making sure they don't fly away, they scrunch one end up and shove it amongst the other stuff. I picked up afew scarfs to look at and then placed it back in the same manner (After deciding not to buy it when my bargaining didn't go well) and the guy complained that i was creasing the scarfs! WTF? HOW THE HELL DO YOU CREASE SOMETHING THAT IS ALREADY CREASED! WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! UGH