You know its time for bed when you decide to wander into the livingroom at night to see what is there to do and when you turn on the lights, the light bulb blows up. I know lightbulbs died with a pfitzzz sound. But this was different. It BLEW up. Like glass shattering explosion. Luckily, our lights are in the shape of a shell and managed to catch most of the shrapnel. Which reminds me...I should call dad and let him know...
Learning from yesterdays lesson, we went down to the reception first thing in the morning to see if there are any ferries. The tour agency also promised to call us first thing in the morning with instructions on how to escape this damn island. The guy at the reception told us that the tour agency gave us a call and told us to leave our tickets. Huh? Leave what tickets? Whats happening to our ferry? Are there ferries? Who's giving us new tickets? The guy had no idea. He took down a message he didn't understand and didn't transfer the call to our room because he didn't want to "wake us up". WTF? Who doesn't transfer such an important call? I bet if the hotel was on fire he wouldn't call us and just let us burn in hell! We told him to call the person back and find out wtf he was talking about. But he didn't know the guys name and when we called the number, we had no answer. He told us to eat whilst he tries to contact the guy he doesn't remember. This was when I got attacked by a cat. I'm sitting at the table scoffing honey and cakes with sandwhiches down my throat when this cat leaps onto my lap and tries to steal my food. In my panic I threw the cat onto the ground which sat there staring at me whilst I ate. I chose to ignore the cat who wanted food and ended up pawing at my jeans and almost ripping it to shreds. Meanwhile the reception guy is still trying to call the guy he doesn't know back.
We pulled out our tour information sheet and find a few more numbers to call. No one was answering any of the phones. This was when this chick rocks up who organises tours for the various islands. She came to the hotel to tell the other people staying there that all the hydrofoils were cancelled due to the weather. The larger ferries were still running but thats no bloody help to us is it? We sat at reception for the next hour trying to figure out what to do whilst trying to make the various calls. We finally got in touch with the guy who called who told us that we can catch the 1pm ferry to Tinos and then change a ferry to Santorini. The catch? Theres a 5hour wait at Tinos and when we do get to Santorini, it'll be 2am in the morning. WTF!? So we called the main branch of the tour agency which is situated in Athens and not Mykonos and the chick there tells us the same thing despite the fact that yesterday she had promised that she will book us flights off the island. We asked her what happened to the flight so shes like, oh, I'll see what I can arrange and then calls back to tell us that all flights to Santorini has been booked out. Our only option is to catch the ferries to arrive at Santorini past midnight. So I start chucking a fit asking wtf are we going to do for the 5hours at Tinos whilst waiting for the damn connecting ferry with all our luggage? The bitch says "I don't know. Go have coffee." At this point I was about to explode and vomit cake all over the reception because I was so pissed off. We asked her if we go to Santorini, can she gaurantee that we can get back to Athens on the day we've planned because we need to catch a flight to Istanbul. And if we miss those flights are they going to pay for it. She's like, you've got travel insurance, thats what its for. @#%*)$@#_$*#%!*@#$%*&@!#$_!%*$@#%$_#!*^_#$@*^
*Insert tantrum here*
We decided that we don't want to risk it, knowing our luck so far so we decided to ask to go back to Athens. This part was actually quite funny because when Moishii was talking on the phone, he had the most desperate voice saying "Look, is there ANYWAY AT ALL that we can get off this island!?!??!" The woman points out theres the 2am Santorini option where we will arrive on a totally foreign island with no idea where our hotel is. "Look! We just want to get OFF THIS ISLAND!! Even if we go to Athens!" hahahaha Someone sounded like they've been trapped on this island for 3 months and not 1 extra day. We decided to screw it. We're booking a flight to Athens! We called the local travel agent and found out that there was only 3 more seats left on the plane. This is when we all screamed out, "YES BOOK THE SEATS!!". We had our booking and we were ready to get out of here!!!
Meanwhile, whilst this whole big incident was unfolding before our eyes, these 2 aussies rocked up the reception with their luggage ready to check out. We had to break the news to them that their ferrie is also cancelled. They looked at us like we just slapped them in the face and then slapped their boobs. They asked us wtf are they going to do. We answered "Wait in the reception like us". So they did. We went into town to do some last minute shopping and pick up our tickets which resulted in a group hug, made our way back to the hotel to find the Aussie chicks sleeping at reception. I mean what type of sickos really listen to us and stay at reception!?
Oh, we saw the $40 woman again. And the Crazy Hat Woman. And the Constipated woman. Moishii got burped in the face when we were shopping and I got picked up by a 60yr old guy at the local mini market who started telling me how beautiful I am and whether I'm single or Married etc. This all happened because some asshole was too cheap arse to buy a drink at the local sandwhich store and sent me to the mini market to buy them a can of coke. This is a screw that goes on the list.
We made our way to the airport which cost us twice as much as getting to the ferry port despite the fact that it was half the distance. We got there where we weren't allowed to check in and got shooed away by security. WTF? After waiting for about 15mins they finally decided to let us check in after they had a coffee and a cigarette. I stupidly paid $6 for this roll of cheese deep fried in pastry which almost made me throw up all over the xray machine. We sat down and waited for our flight and realised that we got seat numbers 9a and 9c with someone sitting in the middle. WTF? When we got onto the tiny twin engine plane we realised that all rows are missing seat B and E. o_O Ok.....The flight takes off and we made a VERY BUMPY way to Athens. It may have been a 20min flight, but I lost 3 years off my life because of that ride! The air hostess starts serving orange juice, and 2 rows before they get to us, they run back to their seats and strap on their seat belts. Not only did we not get our OJ (What is it with us and OJ?) but we had a rollercoaster ride of our life. I've flown on planes since I was 2 months old. Flying doesn't do anything for me. However, this is the first time in my LIFE that I have gripped onto the arms of the seat for my dear life. I mean if there was a dead bird on board that would stop the shaking and turbulence I would've licked the damn thing if I had to. 10mins into the flight I hear this loud POP which caused me to grip the first thing I could lay my hands on. I look out of the window to see this peice of metal sticking out from the body of the plane. !@#^@#%&$@#%%^ After a VERY shaky landing, everyone starts getting up from their seats before the damn plane stops. We get off the plane and then realise that the really loud POP we heard was the flaps that open for the wheels. Would've been nice to know that before the landing.....
Here is the bit where I explain what happens after arriving in Athens. I don't know wtf possessed us to do the following.......
We realised that we will be arriving in Athens the same day that our friend is also arriving in Athens. Our immediate thought? Lets wait at the airport for his flight. We went to information and found out that a flight from London will be coming in at 5:20pm. It was 2:30pm. We *could* go to the hotel and check in and then come back......but then we would probably get screwed by paying $100 for travelling or that we would miss our friend. 3 hours wasn't so long. Besides, we had alot of stuff we could do. Like organise our accomodation for Athens and Istanbul. First things first, FOOD. Knowing how expensive everything in greece is, and us being at the airport meant everything will cost more we opted for Maccas. I mean there is only so many pitas and souvlakis you can have in a row before you get seriously constipated. After spending $20 on maccas and me almost breaking my neck by sitting on a broken bench with a guy who looked like he was going to vomit on us from drinking too much beer at Maccas, we went down to the arrivals lounge and found ourselves some free Internet terminals.
Sending off a few very important emails and arranging accomodation for Athens and Istanbul, we had finished all our errands about 4. Only 1.5hrs til our friend arrives. Wrong. The flight has been delayed for 2 hours. Yep......we're faced with the same problem. do we wait the extra 3.5 hours? I don't wtf we were thinking when we found ourselves some seats and sat at arrivals. Luckily we seated ourselves next to a coffee shop. I was hoping the smell of grinded coffee will keep us awake and we wouldn't actually need to buy a coffee. What I didn't count on was that the smell will be so enticing we spend over $10 on coffee.
To help kill time, we decided to make welcome signs. The problem was we had no cardboard and no paper. Even the newsagency doesn't sell them. We ended up tearing up some envelopes and a greetings card and proceeded to make our welcome signs. Sniffing texta fumes is really fun when you have alot of time to waste. When the flight finally touches down, we race to the gates with all our luggage holding signs like raving lunatics. We got our camera ready to take a photo and video of our friend's reaction when he sees us. We got told off by the security guard for filming a restricted area. He looks like he wanted to grab the camera off Moishii and shove it up his arse. That would have been interesting. Camera goes off and we wait. And we wait. And we wait some more. WTF was he?! An hour passes and so does a horde of people. Did we miss our friend? Did he go out a different exit? We start panicking. Our hearts are racing, our stomache is knotted and we're hyperventilating. We finally see our friend walk by. But he wasn't walking towards customs/exit. He was walking in the direction of the other end of the airport. Was he going to a different belt to collect his luggage? What if he goes out the nearest exit which is the other side of the airport. We ask the security guard as to what is happening and apparently the airline has lost a bit of luggage and people are taking their time filling out lost luggage forms. Nah......that wouldn't happen to our friend. Maybe he just like to dwindle and take it easy.
He finally comes out of the exit with a look of shock/horror/disgust with a bit of delight rolled in. We jump him for a big group hug. He was thrilled! (I think...). And yes......they lost his luggage. They did give him an overnights pack as well which contained all the toiletries, a tshirt and a pair of undies.....all branded "British Airways". We find out from information that there are buses right to our hotels doorstep. And it only costs us about $5. Not the $100 we paid. @#%@#&^ Sitting on the bus we do a quick catch up as to what has been happening when this woman sitting infront of us turns around and gives us a dirty look like we were just discussing child pornography or something. WTF is your problem woman!?
We put together a plan where we sneak our friend into the hotel instead of him going to a hostel. We leave him standing outside the hotel whilst I get followed by a blackguy who won't stop talking to me. We check in, dump our bags and go looking for our friend. He goes missing. After much searching, we find him sitting by the side of the road with a bag of bananas. o_O Apparently he got solicited by a Greek guy who wanted to take him to a bar and make him buy drinks for alot of chicks. We finally sneak our way into the hotel so we can all have a quick shower. Only problem was we ran outta towels and forced our friend to use a handtowel who had to dash out to grab his clothes. LoL
We go out for some dinner and hope to find ourselves a good night club to go to. I mean one where there is actually people. Unlike the Skandinavian bar. I mean we're in the heart of the city centre for crying out loud. How hard is it to find a bar to go to!? After searching around for an hour, we go back to the room and crash.
Ahhhhhh 10am ferry means we get up at 8:30, stroll downstairs for a nice breakfast of honey and cake and sandwiches before we slowly make our way to the Ferry port at 9:15 giving us over 45mins to relax whilst waiting for our ferry. We cab it to the port and drag our luggage to the wharf. There are two massive ferries already at the port. Looking at our ferry tickets, our ride was called the Sea Jet 2. A hydrofoil that is basically a smaller boat but it also means that it can travel alot faster. Looking around we don't see any hydrofoils. We walk to the other end of the port and we see nothing. There was also no one at the port. Strange. Hmmmmmm it was then we realised that there are TWO ports. The new port and the old port. We assumed that we will be departing from the new port. With the old port half way around the island, we decided to run to the nearest travel agent and confirm where our ferry was.
Moishii had left me with all the luggage whilst he trekked up the hill to ask for some directions. At this point, 3 massive dogs run towards me and surrounds me. One of the dogs had a blue eye and a brown eye. This was reminding me of the evil one eyes woman in Athens. Coincidence? Whilst the evil crazy eyed dog sat 1m away from me, the other one started circling our luggage like it was deciding where to pee on it. The other dog was busy trying to attack another man who eventually managed to run away. As I was defending our luggage from being peed on (Don't ask me why because he was only sniffing at Moishii's suitcase anyway) Moishii walks back. Actually, he can barely walk because he was trying hard not to laugh at the image of me standing in the middle of an empty port surrounded by suitcases and 3 dogs. I also noticed he had a look that suggested that he was suffering from anal leakage. He walks up to me and starts laughing at my face and trying to shoo the dogs away. When I eventually got his attention, he said he had news and he didn't know how to break it to me.
"The boat is on the other side of the island isnt it?"
"Due to weather conditions, all ferries have been cancelled"
"...."
"......"
"You're kidding right?"
"No...."
*Ear splitting scream* ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*Jumps up and down screaming and stomping the floor and kicking the suitcase*
After letting the news sink in, we headed to the tourist information centre to try and score some cheap accomodation. We quickly book a room smack bang in the middle of the town at a good rate and started dragging our luggage in that direction. Half way across town did we think to call our tour company. Well DUH. After multiple phone calls and numerous wrong numbers, we finally manage to contact them who told us that they will be arranging accomodation for us in Mykonos. They also asked if we can go to the local travel agents to see if we can book a flight or any other ferries off the island. Moishii set off to the local travel agent as I sat at the town square with all our luggage when I met this New Zealand couple who was also trapped on the island. However, they found out much earlier than us that the ferries were cancelled and managed to book a flight to Athens. I started talking with them which was when they told me that the weather has been beautiful in the island and the parties were happening everywhere until a few days ago when the weather started turning bad and people started leaving. A few days ago......that was when we arrived on the island!! SCREWED!!
Anyway, all flights were booked and we were trapped. Luckily we had accomodation. Infact, we had double accomodation. Therefore it was my mission to go back to the tourist information centre to try and get a refund on our deposit. I went back to the woman and put on some sob story about how our tour company refuses to reimburse us for accomodation that we booked because we could be upping the price and ripping them off rar rar and I looked like I was going to throw up on her if she didn't give me a refund. I went back to Moishii with the refund in our pocket when I realised that in our rush to pack the night before, we had decided to dump half a bottle of vodka because we didn't want to risk it leaking all over our clothes. WE MUST GET BACK TO THE HOTEL PRONTO! We cabbed it back and rushed to the reception where the guy gave us our same room back which was yet to be cleaned. WE SAVED OUR BOTTLE OF VODKA!!
Dumping all our luggage, we had nothing to do and headed into town. Along the way we stopped by the exchange woman's place to have a chat with her as to what day tours we could do. We found out that we had missed every single tour of the day!!!! Not only we were stranded, we had nothing to do!!! Moishii got so pissed off that he declared "I'm having sex tonight!". In frustration, we ran to the nearest phone booth and called Cherry where we left her a very nice message.
"You suck! We're trapped on this bloody island because of you! All ferries have been cancelled! YOU CURSED US!! This if your fault! I'm never going to forgive you!!"
We felt so much better after that call. We headed to the 24hr cafe that was only open 12 hrs a day and ordered ourselves more authentic toast and coffee. I decided that we should go sit in the corner so we can hide because of the whole *Insert J incident* but I ended up screwing myself over because we were *Insert J Incident again*!!!!!!! FARKKKKKKKK This was NOT a good day!
Following the advise of the exchange woman, we bused it to Ornos which supposedly had a great beach and lots of things to do. We arrived at Ornos only to see a beach. And more beach. There were 2 problems here.
1. We didn't have our swimming costumes with us
2. Even if we did, the freakin wind storm that cancelled all ferries in the first place did not allow us to sunbake without us losing our skin. And the best bit? Theres no buses for another other. We took a few happy snaps and sat around the bus stop waiting for our bus. It was late. There were a group of people milling around waiting for a bus that won't show up. Moishii decided to wander around when a taxi pulled up near the bus stop. A woman gets into the cab, then she yells at me "Are you going to Mykono City Centre?". And before we could reply, she slammed the door in my face and they drove off. FFS!!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE!? Do I have "SLAM YOUR FUCKIN DOOR IN MY FACE" Tattooed across my chest or something? Why even bother asking if you didn't want an answer? Were you scared I was going to jump into the taxi and slap your boobs around or something!? FFS! Anyway, I would never do anything like that! Moishii will be the one playing drums on your chest you slut!!!
*Deep breaths* The bus finally rocks up after being 15mins late. Its like 15mins from one side of the island to the other side! God knows why they took so long! We were only around the corner! After almost having our clothes blown off, we made it back to town just in time to do a bit of shopping. We managed to bump into Petros again. Ahhhh the womaniser! He was surrounded by chicks who absolutely adore him! Took me ages to get his attention. Suddenly, out of no where this turkish guy burst out from a restaurant and starts screaming and smacking Petros for trying to steal food from the restaurant? WTF? Petros, in the confusion ran and hid in the kitchen where he was welcomed with open arms! Pffft damn turkish guy didn't know what he was on about! He had no right to treat Petros like that!! BASTARD! We continued to walk around since Petros was in hiding and we saw this restaurant that was packed to the brim with people. They must have good food! I ran up the hill to have a look at their menu. All of a sudden this guy runs out and grabs me and starts talking to me. I had no idea what was going on! Was there an assassin? Is he grabbing onto me so he can throw me out of the way of a bullet? I got spun around whilst he kept babbling on about something. Then I saw him waving at Moishii who was capturing the whole thing on film! FFS! What type of sicko sees me getting grabbed and films it instead of saving me? I managed to break free and we made a ran for it.
This was when the whole $40 woman thing occurred. We also bumped into the constipated woman and also the crazy hat woman! This was also the same day when the OJ incident occurred! OMG!!!! I JUST REALISED I HAD THE DOOR SLAMMED IN MY FACE 3 TIMES IN ONE DAY!!! ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING!? ITS NOT LIKE I DON'T WANT TO GET OFF THE ISLAND! YOU GUYS CANCELLED THE FREAKIN FERRIES!! DEAL WITH IT!!!
UGH! We need to blog! We ended up at an internet cafe were we spent $20AUD for blogging for 1 hour! WTF? I could buy a kidney for $20!! I've had it! Back to the hotel for siesta time!!!
I've had it with Greek food. Considering we were paying on average $40-$60 a meal, we tend to opt for the cheaper dishes which had very similar themes. Grilled meat. Egg plants. Tomatos. Oil. I was going to throw up if I had anymore "Greek" food. Italian it was! Wandering the streets with our saved bottle of vodka, we crash into the downstairs of the Skandinavian bar. I decided that I needed something else besides Vodka OJ (Since we finished all of it and we weren't even tipsy). A shot of B-52 should sort me out. Someone wanted to be difficult and told the bar tender that they didn't want anything and when my drink came, decided that they wanted the exact same thing. A few shots later, we staggered out of the bar and upstairs where they were playing some screwed up 70s? 80s? alternative music. I didn't even know how to move! When I tried to boogie, I look like someone had shove a crab down my pants and a cat down my shirt and started beating me with a cactus! This was not going to work. To spice up the night, we decided to go to Bar Porta. Yep. Rememer bar Porta? With the rainbow flags? Well we're pussies ok? We walked back and forth outside the door about 5 times and couldn't go in. More B-52s. Nope! Can't get myself to go in. We wander around so we didn't look like total dickhead walking past Bar Porta nonstop and somehow ended up at the Veranda bar. You think our $15 vodka orange juice was expensive? This place was selling them for $30! We sat down and had the menu shoved in our face. I tried to stall the waitress whilst someone took happy snaps of the great view we had. This was when I noticed that we were getting followed *Insert Incident GG*. Not good! We made a run for it. Which was when *Insert incident FG*.
Having no where else to go, we headed back to the Skandinavian bar hoping the music was better. Nopes. We didn't even have to go upstairs to tell half of the people have left cos of their shit music that night. We had no other alternative. Head up, chest high, buttocks tight. We walk into Bar Porta. We found ourselves a stool and sat in the corner. 5min timer starts........NOW. I think we lasted a total of 2 minutes before we bolted out of there. I give up.....we heading towards the cab stand since we were waking up early tomorrow in hope to get off the island. Guess what? No cabs. What a day..........
I have been informed that some ASSHOLE has been spreading my blog around to their entire company!! Apparently the whole workplace is now reading my blog and is addicted! LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! Get back to work!! And you! Lyric! DIE YOU BIAAAAAAAAAAAATCH! I'm going to start charging each and every one of you an MP3 player for reading my blog without my permission and for also associating yourself with certain people that have been BLACKLISTED.
HANGOVER! We passed out way past when breakfast was served. We headed towards down and stopped by a 24hr cafe that only opens for 12 hours a day for some authentic *Cough* greek toasted sandwiches and crepes and coffee where we saw *Insert Incident J*. Talk about awkward situations. I dashed into the exchange woman's place again for more money considering we spent so much of it drinking. She recommended that we go to Platis Gialos beach which was where all the celebrities and famous people go when they come to Mykonos. We trekked our way back up the massive hill to get to our beach gear.
Along the way we noticed what beautiful scenary there was all around us and we decided to stop by the side of the road to take some photos. Moishii, not satisfied by the shots he took, decided to sneak into someones drive way to get some better happy snaps. He kept yelling OMG!! THIS IS A GOOD PHOTO OPPORTUNITY!! Then this massive German Shepard comes pounding towards us. I have never seen someone turn tail and run so fast. Wait.....run wasn't correct. Waddle in thongs were more like it. I almost peed myself laughing!!! AHAHAHAHA
After our "Getting chased by a dog" incident, we heading back into town to catch a bus. Luckily, the bus to Platis Gialos was quite empty this time and there was no toe stomping. By the time we got to the beach, it was way after lunch. We quickly chose our beds and umbrellas when some other guy comes running demanding for money. This time it was $14. I knew we should've went to the other side of the beach which had the coushioned beds! But then if we did move, we would have missed out on seeing a dog suck on a woman's tits on the beach whilst they were hanging out of her bikini. We would have also missed out on seeing people walking around with cardboard signs offering to give us a traditional swedish massage in greece. Abd we would have definetly missed out on getting sand whipped.
What is sand whipped you ask? Sand whipped is when you are lying on your beach chair and enjoying the non-skin burning sun and taking a nap when a gust of wind whips you with a kilo of sand. The feeling? Imagine someone tabogganing over your skin with sand paper. The pain was excrutiatingly nice. We were on holiday. EVERYTHING had to be nice. After a few hours of sand whipping, I managed to locate my shorts which had been buried by the sand storm and we headed back. We stopped at a kebab place and got a pita each. Bad Bad BAD idea. I have never felt so greased up in my life. I could've vomited the whole thing out and it would've taken less than 5 seconds because my insides were so greased up. After buying more Oil Paintings, we headed back to the hotel for another siesta. It was at this point that we realised that there were actually buses that took us right to the front step of our hotel. ARGHHHHHHHHH ALL THE HIKING!!! We probably did over 5km in the past few days just getting to and from the hotel! *SigH*
After our Siesta, we finally came to without throwing up any pita and got ready for another night out. Vodka water bottles were ready, overdose of cologne was ready, hair was Effie like. We were set. With the nice gale force wind happening outside, we cabbed it into town. This was when we bumped into *Insert Incident J* where we got stalked for awhile. We finally snuck our way to Nikos again where we met up with Petros. Ahhhhhhh........dear old Petros. Have I told you how cute he was? *^_^*
This time, instead of trying to find another bar to go to, we heading straight to the Skandanavian bar again. Like there was any other bar with people in it on this island. This is where everything goes downhill. *Insert incident F*. But then *Insert incident FG* was around and got pissed. Luckily that passed and we got on with our bum wiggling. We then noticed this bunch of asians who looked like they were on drugs. One of the chicks kept shaking her chest and would've whipped her boobs out was she not wearing a crew neck shirt. The guy was more than happy to shake his thing. Infact, he was shaking everything he had on the dance floor! Hair and all body parts. Somehow, a bunch of the asians ended up rolling around the floor after I almost got jumped by 2 of them. I don't know what drugs they were on, but I wanted some. Oh, Moishii also had a 40yr old Chick in a floral top drooling over him. I think she wanted to jump him and devour him. AHEAheaHE
It was around this time when *Insert S* appeared. I was so happy and excitied!! This might actually work!! But as *Insert S* was going to happen, so did *Insert FG incident*........I was totally freaked out!! Then the whole *Insert incident J**Insert more* which was when I almost scratched my nose off waiting to be saved! WHAT TYPE OF SICKO LOOKS ME RIGHT IN THE EYES, LAUGH AND THEN TURN AWA Y!! We ran out of the bar and hid in a bar below us. Looking around, something was wrong. There was not a single female in this bar......all guys.....very nicely dressed guys.....I look towards the front door only to see a rainbow flag hanging there. OH MY FREAKIN GOD WE WERE IN A GAY BAR!!! We dashed out into the freezing cold wondering what to do. We needed our jackets. We head back into the Skandanavian bar to grab our jackets when *Insert Incident J Part 2*. I then headed to the toilet where *Insert J Incident Part 3*. Like FREAKIN @#)%*$@#)%*@#%*^@#$^ I was freaking out and then some selfish bastard grabs their jacket and tries to leave without me!! LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Anyway, we decided to go look for Petros but I think he had an early night and did not want to be disturbed. I've had just about enough after being screwed left right and center by every Tom, Dick and Harry on the Island and decided to head home. We decided to make a bolt for it and ended up in some deserted side alley. This was when *Insert Incident J Part 3*. WHY DON'T YOU FREAKIN LISTEN?! WHO THE HELL TRIES TO OVERTAKE RIGHT WHERE THE ROAD NARROWS?! FFS! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR We quickly duck to the right where we found another bar that actually had people in it! *GASP* ITS A MIRACLE!!! Unfortunetly, it was only just a bar. No music, no dancing, just people standing around drinking.
Filled with new hope that there must be other bars that are happening on the Island, we made a decision to go wandering again. BAD IDEA. We went past the Gay bar and towards the sea only to *Insert Incident J part 4*. @#$*)!@#%*!$@#%*@#%* WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO TALK TO HIM!? You will pay for screwing me over!!! ARGHHH We went to the nearest kebab shop, grabbed a drink and sat on an oily staircase recapping what happened tonight. YOU SUCK!!! This feels like Hidden Intentions plus Home and Away plus Mile High with a bit of Jerry Springer thrown in!! We call it a night and finally head home.
We get to the Taxi Stand only to find no Taxis. There was also no buses at the Bus stop either. The 24hr cafe wasn't open so we couldn't even sit around waiting for a Taxi. Screwed. We hiked all the way back to the hotel at 2:30am in the morning. Like WTF?
Despite the insane night we had before, we got up at 8:30 to dash to the reception hoping that they can contact the tourist information office and see if they have our ferry tickets. After scoffing down honey and cake, we finally got the call. THEY HAVE OUR FERRY TICKETS! We dashed back to the room, got changed and quickly hailed a cab to their office. After checking that they are indeed our tickets, we threw our arms around each other like we just got released from prison and laughed and cried like lunatics. Composing ourselves, we decided to do some quick shopping around the island before we headed to the beach. 3 words. Postcards, Oil paintings.
We hiked our way up the hill, through the gale force wind whilst dodging cars that we're trying to run us down and finally got back to the hotel. We dumped all of our shopping, changed into our swim wear and hiked all the way back into town.
We quickly jumped onto a bus to Paradise beach. Actually, jump isn't the right word. Its too easy and carefree. Try the words crawl, squeeze, squish, push, climbed our way into a bus that was packed to the brim. We ended up standing on the back steps of the bus squashed right up against the door! Sardines in a can is nothing compared to what we had to go through. The worst part was that the bus was crammed to the brim with kids. And the way off the bus was pass us and over our feet. I'm lucky to still have 10 toes left after that ordeal.
Arriving at Paradise Beach, we picked out a nice spot close to the water that had beach beds and umbrellas. As we were settling down and trying to relax, some strange arse guy walked up to us and demanded money for using the beds. GDI. Who the hell pays $12 to use an umbrella and a bed? Not like we needed the umbrella anyway. I wasted about 30mins slapping sunscreen on due to my fear of getting severly sunburned only to freeze my arse off in the sun. It was around this time that we noticed that all the people to the left of us were normal and all the people to right of us were naked. There were Boobs and Dicks EVERYWHERE! Like OMG! I quickly whipped on my sunnies and buried my head in a book. For some unknown reason, SOME PEOPLE kept looking around and finally spotted a potential Sugar Daddy for Cherry. He was quite attractive. I mean he was thin, yet he had man boobs. And for some unknown reason, he had extremely LONG chest hair hanging from his nipples. I swear to god they were long enough to plait. The best bit? He was strutting around naked! >_<> who said hi. Avoiding eye contact, we someone managed to stumble into Nikos. We managed to score a table when Petros showed up wowing the crowd. HE WAS SO CUTE!! I JUST WANTED TO THROW MY ARMS AROUND HIM AND CUDDLE HIM!! AHEaHEaHEa He was so sweet!! awwwwwww
Anyway, during our dinner of baked pasta and stuffed eggplants that weren't stuffed, we realised that the couple next to us were actually Turkish and were over indulging a bit on Ouzo. Luckily, they knew to mix. After eavesdropping throughout the whole dinner (Not like I understood), we wandered around whilst sculling our OJ. We made a few phone calles (You know who you are) before we headed to the Skandanavian bar again. And once again, there was less than 10 people there. We decided to go wander around a bit more whilst trying to finish our drink only to find a place called the Mykonos bar. I mean, we were on Mykonos and of course we must visit the Mykonos bar. It was dead. There was a total of 6 people in there and 3 of them worked behind the bar. One came running over trying to get us to order drinks. We managed to stall him for a few minutes and the minute he turned his back, we bolted.
Yep! Back to the Skandanvian bar. It was at this moment that
