Stress relief

Saturday mornings are usually reserved for sleeping in and curing a hangover from Friday night drinks. Yesterday I spent Saturday morning at work. To help matters along, the air conditioning was down due to maintence. Not as bad as the middle of summer, but still bad enough to give you head spins cos of the heat. Luckily it got turned back on at midday to cater for the many people working on weekends in our company.

Work has become so much more hectic in the past week. I have been cruising along in the project for the past month until BAM! Late nights, panic attacks by everyone in the project and now weekend work. Not that I have been slacking off for the past month. They haven't been able to finish their work in order to pass it on to me earlier. Now I'm the final barrier between them and the project going live. Basically, if I don't get MY work done by the end of next week, the whole projects not going in for atleast another month. My original 3-4 weeks to do the work has been compressed to 2 weeks. No wonder I've been having weird dreams lately. E.g. I was Frodo in LOTR trying to carry The Ring to Mount Doom. Or that I was fighting a current trying to pull me into the ocean.

Obviously I'm starting to get stressed. But I've had worse before and I always come out fighting. Still, I have ny panic attacks and sleepless nights even though I know things will work out fine. If it wasn't Mothers Day today I would be at work right now. If I knew things would get so bad, I wouldn't have agreed to go out with Moishii last night. I was tired, hungry and stressed.....and I was cranky. I somehow got conned into going to the 2day FM Lowie's 21st Birthday Party thing at Luna Park. We arrive to see a hugeeeeeee queue that went from one side of Luna Park all the way to the entrance. I was ready to turn and leave, but I didn't want Moishii to be disappointed. So we waited. And waited. We finally got into the Big Top where the party was held.

Oh my freakin god its a room of Teeny boppers. Did we used to act like that? I'm pretty sure we didn't.....the only time we did anything that ridiculous was during the Moulin Rouge premier where Sarah Michelle Gellar was appearing and I went NUTS and ended up on the news on every single channel. But I'm pretty sure I wasn't as bad as these teeny boppers with the screaming and the waving and the running around like a rat on speed. We usually rock up to these events, take a photo, sometimes get an autograph and leave. We never try to chat with the celebrities. Mainly cos the conversations will always be so fake. And probably cos we can't be bothered.

Paulini was performing as we walked in, so we did the usual, grab our camera and take a photo. We didn't even really bother moving to the front of the stage. For those who know me and have been stalking with me, if I wanted to get to the front of the queue, I WILL get to the front of the queue. Paulini's performance ended after 1-2 songs so we roam around and found the autograph table. They had a few dudes and a chick there signing autographs. I have no idea who they were. I couldn't even be bothered taking a photo. A 12yr old kid was running around screaming "WHO IS SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS!?!?!". No one could answer him. He came running up to me and my answer? "F***ed if I know."

I was getting annoyed and dragged Moishii to sit outside so I could whinge about how tired I was, how shit these events are and why the hell are we still here? We agreed to stay for a SHORT little while and then get the hell out of there. Fine. Ricky Lee was performing next and Moishii wanted a good photo. So of course, we started edging towards the stage. Ricky Lee performed, we got a few good shots as we edged closer towards the stage. Since we were in such a prime location, we decided to stay for another 1/2hr to see who else was performing. They had some guy with some other guy and a DJ performing. I didn't really bother paying attention. Things were relatively calm until Lee Harding came out. The teeny boppers around me went NUTS. They were waving and mosh-pitting, throwing things onto the stage and worst of all, screaming in my ear whilst jostling me around.

Lee finished performing and he headed off towards the autograph table. The Teeny boppers infront of me knew that. Thats when it happened. The Teeny bopper #1 infront of me turned and PHYSICALLY SHOVED ME to try and get me out of the way so they could run to the autograph table. I managed to ram her to one side using my shoulder as self defence. That little tart thought she could shove her way past me! The nerve! And THEN, HER little Teeny Bopper friend #2 thought SHE could SHOVE me out of the way. And then I snapped. The minute TB#2 shoved me, I grabbed both of her arms, pinned them to the side of her body, lifted her up and threw her backwards into the crowd. The shocked look on her face was absolutely priceless! I couldn't have gotten a better reaction if I slapped her across the face. That little bitch thought she could shove me out of the way. No one shoves me. EVER. Especially not for some punk of a Lee Harding. And its not a clubbing "I need to shove my way through the crowd to get to the bar" shove. It was a full on "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY" shove. It wasn't a "nudge someone with your shoulder/elbow/bag and try to get through". It was a "put both your hands on the persons shoulder and shove them out of the way" shove. Clubbing shove I can take cos I shove back. Nudging me with your elbow to get through I can take cos I'll just nudge you back. But laying your teeny bopper "omg I wanna jump Lee Harding" hands on me and SHOVING me I won't take. Ever.

After TB#2 recovered from her shock, she took a different route to shove her way out. But her bunch of Teeny Bopper friends behind her didn't learn. They started charging through the crowd like a bull on speed. The few stupid enough to try and shove me copped either an elbow or a shoulder to their chest if noit a good ram with my shoulder. The whole time I'm trying not to get run over by a bunch of horny Teeny Boppers, Moishii was standing behind me pissing himself laughing. He witnessed the whole event and he couldn't stop himself from laughing. His laughing fit went on for a good 15mins whilst I was battling another Teeny Bopper next to me who tried to force herself infront of me to get closer to the stage. She was practically leaning her full entire body on me. This is when I full force elbowed her. And everytime she started leaning on me again, I would elbow her and ram it right into her back. Its not like she didn't have room on the other side, but she wanted to stand where I was standing. To top it off, she had a friend wearing a coat that make the Yeti look well groomed. I've never seen a hairier jacket. Ever. You could get a Big Ted costume and you still won't look as hairy. She was holding onto a glass of wine and swinging it around and sloshing it all over the people infront of her hoping they would relinquish their spot at the very front of the stage. That ain't happening. So here we were, at the front of the stage with a hairy Teeny Bopper throwing alcohol on everyone, another Teeny Bopper next to me practically rubbing herself all over me and then there was a 40 year old woman.

Well, she wasn't a 40 year old woman. She was actually closer to 15. But she was dressed in her nanna's clothes. With a short bob hair cut. And Granny glasses. And Pearls. And so much make up it'll put a drag queen to shame. Now I know why we used to come to these things. It wasn't the celebrities. Ok, sometimes it was the celebrities. But we usually grab a photo and an autograph and end it. No. It was the freaks. For some reason, these events always attract the freaks. THAT'S what makes all these events memorable. Its been so long that I've forgotten the purpose to these events. Let me name a few of the freaks we've met:

- Kylie and her mum
- The fugitive stalking guy who followed me around Centrepoint and Burwood
- The BF and GF rocked up to a Russell Crowe movie premier early to get a spot at the barricade, but then didn't like people jostling behind them
- The heckler who shows up to every single movie premier with his album of movie posters he wants them to sign despite him mocking every single celebrity he's ever met









As we left the party, I felt refreshed. I was stressed and tired and cranky before, but after that whole incident, I felt awake and full of energy. So it takes throwing a complete stranger across the room to make me feel better....hmmm....

We were going to grab a quick dinner and go home, but after that, we drove to Leichardt and found a table at the Galetta Bar. We ordered a wood fired pizza each whilst eyeing the dessert menu. As we were waiting for the food, our discussion kept going back to the freaks for the night. That is when Moishii wanted to set up a protocol when and if I ever get into a catfight. (Basically our Italian teacher told us when she was in Milan, a guy came up to her and started kissing her out of no where. No chatting or dancing. He went straight to the kissing. When she rejected him, he slapped her and called her a whore. We both know if it was me in at situation, I would probably rip the guy's nuts off). Moishii's question was "If you were in a fight, am I expected to film it, or break it apart?".

That has GOT to be the most stupid question ever. I mean seriously. Isn't that answer obvious????? If I'm winning, keep filming. If I'm losing, break it up. Duh! But then there was the question of what should be do if neither of us were winning? He plan is he's gonna grab a random chick and throw her into the fight and one of the following will happen:

1. Either she would gang up with the other chick to beat me up, and I will lose, so Moishii will step in to break up the fight
2. Either we gang up on the other chick, and I win, so Moishii will keep filming
3. Both me and the other chick will beat up the new chick so neither of us are winning or losing and Moishii can keep filming.

Now that we've got the rule straight, we turned our focus to the food. Throwing someone across the room really works up an appetite.

First up:

Italian bread with Balsamic Vinegar and Olive oil as an appetiser

Vegetarian Supreme with Salsa, capsicum, Mushrooms, artichokes & eggplant

Napolitana pizza with Salsa, Olives, anchovies and Mushrooms

Usually we would be stuffed by now, but laughing takes alot out of you. We need some sugar to replenish our energy.

Flourless chocolate and hazelnut Torte

Passionfruit Creme Brulee with a Passionfruit sauce

MmMMmmMMmMmMMMmmm That Passionfruit sauce was absolutely orgasmic! I'm definately bringing my parents here to try the food out! Of course, the evening wouldn't be complete with a nice Latte!