Day 15 - Assisi

6:15am wakeup call. I swear when the tour ends, I'm not waking up until midday!!! To make it worse, breakfast wasn't ready AGAIN. I felt like slapping someone this early in the morning, especially with Ron running around harrassing half the locals. To get to the bus, again we had to lug all our hand luggage through venice, over a hundred bridges before we can dump it with Umberto. A few of the people who had problems walking set off earlier than the rest of us, meaning Good Old was on her own with 50 bags. As we were walking to the bus, I offered to help carry her bags as I didn't want her to trip and fall into the water (I'm not as heartless as some). I kept offering to carry her Prada Bag when she turned and screamed that I just wanted to steal it! How dare she yell that at me!? Even though its true, you don't yell it out loud!!!

Anyway, since she was onto me, we decided to just chat. This is when she reveals that Camera Susan and Ron had a massive fight yesterday. Well, I mean they didn't like each other as it is, but according to Good Old, they had a full on screaming match over religion or something. And now Good Old was threatening not to go to Israel with Ron if he kept behaving like that. I think that must've been the reason why she managed to score herself a 200euro lace top. Thats right, 200 euros for a LACE TOP! It was supposedly "hand made".....omg. Give me 200euros and I'll tie some string together for you and tell you its lace!!

We finally get to the bus and because of the seat rotation thing, we ended up getting the entire backrow of the bus to ourselves! This was great since we had a really really long drive ahead. It was basically shoes off, pillows out and we were out like a light. 3hours later, the bus comes to a stop near this old decrepit looking church in Ravenna. Apparently is the Basilica S Apollinaro, famous for their mosaics. And to be honest, I couldn't be bothered taking many photos either. Of course, there are certain expectations from the rest of the tour group, so I did take a few half hearted shots.

Outside the church

We quickly left the place when Skeletor and her husband decided to come up to me and give me a history lesson on all the churches Europe, and went across the road to the local restaurant. Well, the only restaurant within a few kilometers. Seriously, the only reason we visited this unknown church was so we can have a "pit stop" and no drive for 6hrs straight. The restaurant was having a special offer for us, where for 12euros, you get a salad, main, drinks and coffee. So we sat down at a table with the Scottish Couple, which was our target for the day. (We agreed earlier we need to find out more about these people, and the next on the radar was the Scottish Couple). Apparently the Scottish Woman is a school Principal, and I can soooooo see her in that role! And her hubby works as a television station technician or something. Next thing you know, Skeletor and her husband sits down with us. Don't get me wrong, they seem like nice people, but I can't understand a damn word they're saying! I understand more from the Scottish couple than them! (And I don't understand the Scottish!) Not only do they have an accent, but she speaks so SO softly, I don't even know she's talking half the time.

Anyway, we had a lovely meal and even managed to have a chat to the owners. They gave us a business card that lists their website, which contains a recipe for his mother's lasagne! I gotta try it!!

Typical Italian garden salad

Lasagne and Fettuccine napolitana

Before getting back onto the bus, I stopped by their little gift section and bought a small bottle of strawberry grappa which was about 35% alcohol. Woohoo! Drinks on the bus! We gathered outside the restaurant to wait for everyone else, when I spotted our next victim. The Jocks. The Jocks are Judy's kids and they don't have much to say. Ever. I don't even think the Youngest one is with us most of the time. I tried to make chit chat with the youngest one and managed to get about 3 words out of him. I finally gave up as I would've gotten more response from a brickwall and decided to head back to the bus. It was a scorching 37degrees and I'm about to die of a heat stroke.

Back on the bus, Kath and Spencer sat back down right infront of me. It was then that I noticed that Kath had collected about half a tree's worth of bush, leaves and twigs in her hair!! OMG! I think if I look closely, I can see a birds nest in there!


The next thing you know, we've both passed out for another 3 hours and suddenly we're in Assisi to see the Basilica of San Francesco d'Assisi (Church of St Francis), one of the first Gothic style churches built in Italy. Here, we meet Guiseppe who was a delightful local guide. He gave us a history talk on the church, where we also got to visit the Crypt at the upper basilica. The artwork in there was amazing considering how long ago they were done. There's no photos inside, and as its a church, I decided to respect that decision.

Santa Maria Maggiore

Resident of Assisi - Isn't he adorable?

Outside the Basilica of San Francesco d'Assisi

Courtyard

As we were walking towards the church, suddenly we spot this dog tied up to a bench in the shade. I assume the owner was in the church. Suddenly Good Old pounces on the dog, whips out her water bottle and lets the dog drink straight from the bottle. God I hope she didn't decide to drink out of it


At the end of the tour, we decided to roam around Assisi where I immediately bought some of the local produce. Truffles. I know its not the $3000/kg type you get at the fancy restaurants, but hey, they're "truffles". Now I just need to use them. Ontop of that, I grabbed myself a bar of truffle chocolate, which basically tasted like dark chocolate. I also tried to get some postcards, but no one had change for a $5 note! Like what the hell? In the end I just gave up. We also bumped into Kath where Moishii spent a good 5mins filming her and taking photos, for no other reason besides the fact that she's Kath.

Assisi side street

Old Seth Green

We wander off after awhile, seeing shade and comfort from the 40degree heat. Whilst we were strolling along, we bumped into Spencer screaming that he lost Kath. We pointed him in some random direction and left him to it. But that little incident sparked a "OMG! WE NEED TO FIND KATH" thing. Half way through running up and down the streets to look for Kath, we stopped into a bar for an ice cold drink. Another famous local produce, especially as we head further and further south, is lemon granita. God this was refreshing!!

When we finished our drinks, we walked back outside only to see Christine!


So we're busily taking photos of Christine, when suddenly Christine looks at us and points to the wall behind us indicating that we should be taking a photo of the beautiful wall instead of the crummy street. She then gave us a look like we're morons....

The wall we should be photoing instead of Christine...

After that incident, we headed back towards the meeting point only to bump into Kath. We started screaming in excitement and ran towards her and almost knocked her over telling her Spencer was looking for her. Moishii then gets into a photo frenzy like he's never seen her before. I just don't understand...


Anyway, we we're heading back to the bus, suddenly Kath reveals that she's a Math teacher. And she kept saying that she would explain things to the kids, if they don't understand, she'll explain it another way, and if they still don't understand, she'll stand on her head to explain to them. Now we know why she has hair like that....cushioning for when she stands on her hair. I mean it is "the style she was going for", or so she says.

We jump back onto the bus only for Cabbage Patch to chuck a fuss that Guiseppe didn't give her microphone back. For crying out loud woman, just sort it out and let me cool down!!

We finally get moving and arrive at our hotel within minutes. Again, the lovely Umberto has gone and dropped off our luggage early, so when we get to the door, our suitcases were there. I noticed that the room right next to us has no suitcases outside it. And since we were one of the first couples to get our room keys, that means we have no tour people next door to us! So what do we do? The minute we get into the room, we throw the window open and scream "SUSANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!" before slamming the window shut.

We relaxed and bit and grabbed a nice shower before heading off to dinner. Now dinner was interesting. Not only did we have a very angry waiter called Guiseppe, the Indian Italians aka the Vomitter joined us for dinner. Before the food even hit the table, the vomiter screamed "IS THERE ANY SALT AND PEPPER?!?!?!?!". I almost choked on my food when she screamed that out. Relax woman!!! She started screaming at the waiter for salt and pepper. And she kept saying "I like extra salt and pepper in my food!!". Well no der. Then her husband saw the look on angry Guiseppe's face and stated that him or the chef is going to come running out with a knife screaming "WHO WANTS SALT AND PEPPER!?!?". Please god let that happen, especially since I had my camera with me. Unfortunately, the angry Guiseppe just stormed over and slammed the salt and pepper on the table.

After dinner, we headed back to our room only to find the bedroom door stuck. The floor immediately inside the door bulges up, meaning you have to throw your entire body weight behind the damn door to open it. After that ordeal, I immediately started hitting the strawberry grappa as Moishii had his Jack Daniels. God there's not a single sober moment in Italy is there? And with alcohol, there is Christine. Again, we throw the window open and scream "CHRISTINEEEEEE" until our heart is content before we pass out for the night.