Could this be my last post?

Me and Moishii have been going through a quarter life crisis...I think it'll keep happening until we turn 26. So we've had a year to deal with this crisis and what have we come up with? The past year was a complete waste. We have no achievements to show for the past year. There has been no "highlights" (but then there has been no overseas trips). We've been organising nights out because we need to relive some of our glory. There will be no achievements or incidents if we're home alone watching DVDs. So last night we were chatting on the phone and I was about to explode. I need some way to release all the frustration that has built up for the past year. No screwing people over, no incidents, no life or death situation of the bizarre kind, no decent entries into INSANENESS.

So we decided that we were going to call Matt out and go to Hooters. For those of you who don't know Matt, Matt is weird. I know me and Moishii are weird, but Matt is even weirder by our standards. He's been going out with Laura who tried to kill him by setting the house on fire when he was asleep. He has somehow put into her head that I am after him and I'm going to steal Matt away from Laura. One xmas at the Myer's stocktake sale, I was visiting Moishii who happened to be working. Apparently Matt also visited Moishii with Laura. Moishii told Matt that I was at Myers shopping and Matt accidently called Laura "Lily". This is when she goes absolutely beserk and starts tearing through Myers trying to hunt me down. The only problem is, she doesn't know what I look like.

We made a concious effort to avoid meeting her. Matt has his unblacklisting dinner and he stupidly told Laura about it, who was then staking out Town Hall trying to catch us and kill us. For some unknown reason, she REALLY REALLY hates me and Moishii. One time, Moishii went to a play with Matt, Matt lies to Laura saying he's at home sick/at cousins place. She calls him to see how he was, and he was in Moishii's car. She realises that he's lying and immediately starts screeching down the phone (So loud that Moishii could hear) "I KNOW YOU'RE WITH FUCKIN LILY! DON'T LIE TO ME! YOU CAN GO FUCK HER YOU FUCKIN FUCKER!" etc etc. You get the gist of things. The only problem was, I wasn't even there!! When Matt goes out with us, he has to lie to Laura. He once went from the bar we were in, to Hungry Jacks, hid in the toilet to call Laura to tell her he's sick at home. She doesn't want him going out with either of us, EVER. Especially me. It might have something to do with the fact that if the three of us go out to dinner, Matt will tell Laura that he went out with me. Then another night he'll say he went out with Moishii. And another night he'll say he went out with the both of us. All 3 times he's referring to same outing. One time Laura got so pissed off at him, she threw a plate at him. I mean who throws a plate now days? I would opt for the 5kg heavy duty juicer! That would do ALOT more damage!

So the past year we haven't seen Matt much simply because she's cut him off from contacting us. Well its about time we got Matt back. Not that we really want him, but because we want what we can't have and once we get it, we don't really care anyway. So we made a call to Matt to see if he's up for Hooters. He replies that he's going to bring Laura along. Yes, the Laura we've all been avoiding because we want to live. Now at the same time, me and Moishii are going through the "Nothing has happened in the past year and there are no incidents worth talking about" thing. So we agreed. Yes. We have agreed to meet Laura. HOWEVER, there one little catch. I need to tell Laura I am Carol. Why? To stop Laura from decapitating Matt with flying plates after the whole "going to a play and getting caught out with Moishii" thing, he told Laura that Moishii has started seeing Carol (Who the hell is Carol???) and that I don't get along with Carol and have stopped hanging out with the both of them. Who the hell comes up with a lie like that???

Anyway, I think he got caught out so he had to confess that it was actually me coming and not Carol. The next thing you know, Laura had to start popping Valium to stop herself killing someone (Ok its ALWAYS a bad sign when people stock prescribed Valium tablets in their pantry). So I don't know who I am right now. I am playing either me or Carol. Or maybe both. I could have a split personality. Or I could be Carol's twin. Or maybe I should just have a costume change during dinner? We haven't decide where dinner is yet, but I've decided on removing all jewellery incase she tries to rip my earrings from my ear. I'm not sure if I should wear glasses. Glasses are a hassle during a catfight, but it also stops the person from gouging your eyes out, and by the sound of things, highly likely that it will happen. And so are the chances of Laura leaping across the table and lunge at my throat with a knife and fork. I'm a bit confused as to whether I should go long sleeve or short sleeve. Long sleeve gives her something to grab onto, but it also stops the nail ripping the skin off.

Seeing that my life could possibly be in danger tonight, if you don't hear from me, send the police. And possibly ask them to look for Moishii's body as well as I assume the Valium popping Laura might want to elimate all witnesses. I knew I should've gone back to Boxing. Lets hope all my skills haven't left me. If I don't post anymore, it was great knowing everyone. Can someone do me a favour and write one big post about what happened to my body? I'd like to go out with a big bang.