Day 16 - Positano

This is going to be a good day. I can just tell. Good Old isn't her usual chirpy self at breakfast this morning, and we couldn't understand why. That is until she dropped her MASSIVE hand carry bag on the floor to reveal enough pills for the whole tour group. This bag is about twice the size of a laptop bag, and it was FILLED TO THE BRIM with all sorts of pills. Omg....now we know why we get the "clouds of thunder" look every now and then. The red pills kick in! She takes a handful of pills and pop them all before breakfast is even served. This is going to be interesting....

After breakfast, we all piled onto the bus. Because of the seat rotation, we're sitting just a few seats away from the middle door of the bus. Kath and Spencer always sit directly infront of us. So Me and Moishii are sitting in our seats, Spencer is in his seat. Suddenly Kath walks towards something on the bus. Next thing you know, she does a 360degree ballet twirl and goes flying backwards down the stairs and slammed herself into the closed door of the bus. Everyone jumps up to see if she's ok, everyone but Spencer that is. He just sits in his seat watching his wife almost tumbling out of the bus and breaking her neck. Someone grabs Kath and pulls her back up the steps and she starts screaming "I'M FIIIIIINE! I'M FIIIIIINE! I was aiming for the door!". She gets up and plants herself down next to Spencer right infront of us. This is when she turns and says "I'm fiiiiine! I knew what I was doing. I know how to fall! I was aiming for the door! I knew what I was doing!". This of course started a laughing fit between the 2 of us, except she was sitting less than a meter infront of me. I jammed my face into the palm of my hands to stop the laughing and practically suffocating myself. Moishii practically bleeds to death biting his lips to stop from laughing. OMG this is bad. I ended up burying my face in my jacket to let myself laugh for a few good minutes before I could act normal again. The whole time Kath is telling everyone that she knew what she was doing. And she knows how to fall. Everytime I hear this I practically crack up laughing in her face. Yep. This is going to be a good day.The bus is finally on its merry way.

After a few hours, we stop at some roadside diner. Not the lovely clean and spacious AutoGrill we were so use to. This place was small and cramped and dodgy. They also had a stupid system where you had to pay for the food before you order it. That's usually not a problem, but the lines cross over each other, and people got confused as to where they're supposed to be lining up and it was just complete chaos. After 30mins of confusion, people finally got their food and coffee


We then bundled back onto the bus and continue our merry way to Positano. Theres miles and miles of highway, and all of a sudden, you see this:

Beaches by the Amalfi Coast

Our massive tour bus squeezing through the narrow streets

View along the Amalfi Coast

How breathtaking is that?? You can see a mad scramble from everyone trying to get a good photo of the coastline of Positano. This place is absolutely STUNNING. We eventually pull to a stop by the side of the road. In the 35+ degree heat, we scramble across the narrow and windey road, norrowly missing a truck that tears through the streets at high speed to find ourselves in the courtyard of a bar. The smaller coach is supposed to pick us up to take us further into Positano as the our big tour bus won't fit through. This is when Cabbage Patch announced that we can used the toilet at the bar if we want to. Next thing you know, the owner runs up to her and says something. So Cabbage Patch announces that the toilet is broken, and they'll "try to fix it". So she said we can go in and buy drinks or something if we wanted. Everyone disappointed that there is no toilet, decided to walk away from the bar and stand in the shade on the road. The owner, noticing that people we're going in, suddenly announced that the toilet was fixed! Well that was a miracle. Unfortunately, the replacement bus arrived at this time, and we all jumped on board and he still didn't get any business.

God I love our normal tour bus. The replacement bus is TINY. Its virtually impossible to even put a small bag of stuff at your feet because its so cramped. Ontop of that, they have this weird contraption where after everyone boards the bus, you can pull down an extra pair of seats directly over the stairs to the back door. Meaning whoever is sitting on those seats, are suspended in mid air above the stairs. The bus stops all of a sudden at a lookout point for us to take photos but we were all stuck in the bus because Maria refused to get out of her seat, and we had to fold her seat up to get down the stairs. When we managed to open the door and walked outside, the view was absolutely breath taking:



You're going to hear me say this again and again. But Positano is STUNNING. ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. Its everything you imagine the Amalfi coast to be. The gorgeous gorgeous sparking blue water, the stunning cliffs, tight curvy roads the bus hurtles down in perfect harmony with the little vespas. There is no better way to enjoy Positano like a nice chilled glass of limoncello at a cliff side bar. STUNNING.

We hop back onto the bus to the next vantage point and this is what we saw:

Positano coastline

How cute is that house?

Can you imagine a better place to enjoy a coffee?

Beautiful isn't it? I didn't even care that I was getting completely toasted alive in the sun. I wanted to stay there as long as I could! Plus, I managed to get a few interesting photos:



We bundle back into the bus, not before a few people attack the local fruit stand for some sun ripen peaches and apricots. God that fruit looks good!! Did I mention that the Southern Italians love their chilli?


The bus drops us off in the middle of a road where we're almost killed by all the cars flying past. From there, its a downhill trek into the village of Positano. The walk took AGES because I kept stopping to take photos. I cannot believe how gorgeous this place is! I don't know what I liked better, the Italian Lakes or the Amalfi coast. Each has their own beauty I guess.




When we get to the village, the tour group splits up for a bit of free time. We went for a quick toilet break before exploring. When Moishii finally came out from the toilet, he looked different. My god he did a wardrobe change. What did you think this is? The Oscars? Who does a wardrobe change??

We slowly explore the steep and narrow streets of Positano, ducking into shops to enjoy their air conditioning before continuing our way down the cliff side. Next thing you know, we're on the beach:



We decided to kick off our shoes and wade into the water. Excellent idea, except for one thing. Instead of sand, they have pebbles, which was SCORCHINGLY HOT. The minute I took my shoes off and stepped onto the pebbles, I started screaming in pain and bolted into the water. The water was really cool and refreshing. There was only one problem, I was stuck in the water. The pebbles had turned into a fine gravel that was cutting into my skin as I stood in the water. I rarely EVER go barefeet. And since I had a lovely pedicure before the start of this trip, the skin on my feet was baby smooth. So here I was, standing in the water screaming in pain and unable to get back to shore. I took me 10mins of slow shuffling before I managed to get to dry land and had to deal with the burning pebbles again.

When we get our shoes back on, we sit for awhile to watch the rest of the tour group romping around the water. We had a bet as to who was going to go face first into the water. I think we both betted on Camera Susan.

A local enjoying a splash at the beach

We take a nice stroll back up the cliff towards the meeting point where we immediately start attacking the postcard stands and I managed to get myself a lemon slush. Basically a frozen lemon slushie made from fresh lemons. It was sooo refreshing in the heat and delicious! Probably why it is one of the most famous things in Positano. Suddenly Good Old appeared and I dragged her into a store to try and get her to spend. Infact, I almost spent half my money on a pair of leather sandles, except they were designed for children and didn't have it in any adult sizes!! Damn!

We hike back up the cliff to the meeting point, and this was excruciating. By the time we got to the top of the cliff, we were about to pass out. Partly because of the view, partly because of the heat.


We found a fountain and half of the people practically jumped in. I sculled half a litre of water within seconds and felt much MUCH better. We scurried across the road to wait for the bus on the other side. Suddenly, half of the town is standing there with us. Apparently they thought we were waiting for a bus. Well, we were, a tour bus. Not the local bus. This is when Ron breaks out his rusty French to try and tell a chick not to wait with us. God, he just tries to talk to every man and his dog doesn't he?

The bus comes and suddenly Cabbage patch is SCREAAAAAAAMING for us to get onto the bus since he's parked illegally and blocked all traffic in both directions. We scramble on board practically tripping over each other. Somewhere along the line, my bottle of water went flying through the bus. Things are never simple are they?

We pulled into our hotel where our suitcases have already been dropped off. We're given our hotel room keys and they have this really screwed up numbering system where the ground floor is level 4 and we're on level 1 or something weird like that. We walk into our room and immediately I burst out to our balcony and started screaming "WE HAVE A VIEW!!!!!" again. And what a view we have:

Our neighbours Tammi and Joe!

The lovely sunset

I can't believe we got such a gorgeous view again!! There's even some tables and chairs on our balcony to sit on and enjoy the view. As we're all excitedly exploring the rooms, we realised the airconditioning wasn't working. Infact, its not working for anyone. There's a big commotion, when Maria, screamed that we have to close the balcony door and flick a lever before the air conditioning will turn on. Before she even finished talking, I had slammed the door in her face and got the air conditioning working, except for one thing. It was spewing hot air. We jiggled with the temperature and started flicking switches before we finally figured out what it was. We had the setting on the snow flake (because we wanted it cold), but in Italy, you need to switch it to the sun (Because its summer and therefore it'll spit out cold air).

After that drama, we got ready for our optional excursion for the night. Dinner by the Sorrento seaside. This time, there were multiple mini vans that would us right to the restaurant through the tight bendy roads. As we walked to the lobby to meet everyone, Good Old comes running up to me and practically drags me into the reception's back room screaming TITI!! TITI!!!. I thought she was hitting on me at one stage! TITI!! TITI!!! Apparently the hotel owner has a dog that he brings to work, and she managed to attack the dog in the short period of us arriving and the group meeting time. She dragged me into the room screaming TITI!! and the poor dog had to drag himself out of bed so Good Old can pat him. Poor thing.

Whilst the van was running late, we took a quick stroll down the street only for me to see this:


How CUTE is the cat?? Next thing you know, Good Old, Diane, Tammi, Big tits and half of the tour group was surrounding the cat and ended up scaring the crap out of it. When the vans finally arrive, there was a big fuss of people refusing to get into a particular van because they wanted to sit with certain people, Cabbage Patch chucked a tantrum screaming its only a 10min ride and to get into the van!

10mins later, we pull up in this dark and smelly alley looking thing. All looking a bit worried as to what we got ourselves into, we followed the crowd only to be led to a gorgeous restaurant by the water. Look at our view!


And the food! Damn the food was good! (Especially with the unlimited alcohol)

Caprese Salad

Famous sun ripen tomatoes and buffalo mozzarella with basil and olive oil. Famous salad of Capri, which is just across the water from where we were. And this is good! I've never had anything this simple yet delicious before. This was possibly the best dish of the night.

Thats a big pizza!

I think the waiter was going to hit me at one stage. The minute I saw him walk out with that, I jumped up to take a photo. Of course, he posed for me. But then every other person on the tour wanted to take a photo. I think his arms were going to fall off!

Magherita Pizza

Veal Cannelloni and Penna Cabonara

The cannelloni was unbelievably good! Everyone was raving about it and practically scraping the last bits off their plate. And the Cabonara......I don't order cabonara in Australia unless I make it myself. Simply because it's fattening and sickly. The cabonara in Italy however, was light and delicious. I could've gone a whole pot of that stuff!

Salad

Chicken

Moishii didn't want the fish that was served to everyone else on the tour and asked for some chicken to be specially cooked for him. And that is what he got. Chicken. Hehehehe the lesson of the day? Don't be difficult towards the Italians!

Baked fish with tomatoes and potato

Lemon cake

Half way through the meal, I grabbed Moishii's camera and started taking photos of him. I mean REALLY taking photos of him. I think I took close to 20 photos, one after the other, causing a massive laughing fit between the 2 of us. Diane, who was sitting next to us thought we were nuts! I just couldn't stop taking photos and couldn't stop laughing. It must've been the alcohol. Somewhere inbetween, Maria started screaming that I forever have a camera glued to my face. Well...I kinda do! I had callouses on my thumb from taking too many photos, and a sore nose because I kept wacking myself with the camera in my eagerness to take photos! So I used Maria's outburst as an excuse to take photos:

Will and Diane

Kath and Spencer

Maria and Joe

Tammi, Joe, Prison Break Chick, Camera Susan and Rachel

Skeletor and Husband, Judy and the Jocks and the Irish couple

Good Old and Ron, the 81 & 82yos, Rene and the girls

Clawfeet and Colgate with Irene and Carl

Our entertainer for the night

Half way through the night, Big tits and Little tits started hitting on the waiters and one of them tried to take her for a "walk" along the waterside. This caused a massive tantrum from the 81y.o. who wanted to rip the boy's throat out. And to be honest, she's so fit, she can probably do it without blinking an eye.

By the end of the night, most people were quite tipsy, especially when Diane tried to take a photo using Will's camera causing Moishii to have a laughing fit. I still don't know what was so funny!


Dinner ended with some dessert and a shot of limoncello. And when alcohol is served in a shot glass, what do you automatically think? Take it as a shot. Somehow I got blamed for suggesting that everyone slam the shot down, and half of the table did! That is until Cabbage Patch came running over to tell us you're supposed to sip it! Well too late, Kath was smashed and Diane couldn't stop giggling. I think I just got the entire tour group drunk....

We eventually all tumble back into a van to go back to the hotel. Half of the people are smashed, especially those who took shots on my table and were extremely quiet on the way back to the hotel. We got off the van and stumbled our way back to bed and crashed for the night.