Bootaylicious Beyonce

After a long wait, it was finally time for Beyonce! I have been looking forward to her concert for so long. Not only do I love her songs, she's also a fabulous entertainer, and I knew I had a great night ahead. After meeting up with Cherry and Moishii, we quickly rushed to the Olympic park and managed to grab a good parking spot with our prepaid ticket. We grabbed our stuff and rushed out of the car park and headed straight for the bar. God it's been awhile since we've had a drink.

We quickly grabbed our drinks and found a lovely spot on the balcony to relax before the show. After our drinks, we figured we're going to need something starchy to line our stomaches. We grabbed a few hot chips to scoff down before making it into the stadium for Chris Brown. I'm sure Chris Brown's performance was spectacular, but I wouldn't know considering the 40y.o. Mother was going NUTS next to me. She brought her teenage daughter along, but she seemed like a bigger fan than her daughter. She was literally on the edge of her seats the entire performance (When she wasn't up dancing that is). That woman went OFF.

She finally managed to settle down before Beyonce started. Not before the chick behind us managed spill half a gallon of coke all over the floor.

Trying to mop up the mess

After cleaning that mess up, Beyonce finally came on. And god was the concert good! Not only is she bootayliciously HOT, but she knew how to entertain! Would I even dare say her concert was as good as Kylie's? Whilst Kylie's concert was all feathers and glitz, Beyonce's was GLITZ with a lot of flesh. A LOT of flesh. There was one costume she wore, that I remembered saying to Cherry "God, she must've gotten a brazillian to wear that". But then there were some really classy and gorgeous outfits. My favourite would have to be the belly dancing outfit she wore for the song she did with Shakira "Beautiful Liar". The outfit was revealing, but in a very soft feminine way. TOTALLY Mouth watering. She got the audience involved and into the mood, and her voice. GOD her voice was AMAZING! We had an absolute blast of a time, and I was really disappointed when there was no encore.

I wasn't disappointed in the extra entertainment that was happening around our seats though. There were these 2 girls sitting infront of us that was either stoned off their face, or pissed off their face. Possibly both.

Is that a...boob?

The chick in the leopard print dress ended up falling flat on her face multiple times during the night. There was one point where I thought she had passed out in a pile of her own puke. She was also feeling up other people during the night. She sat with her legs crossed and touching the chairs infront of her. Instead of sitting up a little to let people walk past, she forced people to try and climb over her. One of the guys didn't feel comfortable doing that and stood there waiting to get past. After a few seconds, she decided to run her hands from his waist to his knees. His GF, who was standing behind him, was ready to rip her face off. Too bad nothing came out of it. She did, however, flash her entire butt in our face. Her dress basically did not even cover her ass when she sat. I'm not exaggerating. She was sitting on BARE ASS. And when she leaned forward, you could see her entire black G-String. THANK GOD she was wearing anything at all!

After the concert was over, we stayed in our seats until the entire stadium was cleared and eventually got kicked out my security. We walked out of the stadium and tried to reenter to have a look at the people spending a week's worth of pay on souvenier only to be kicked out by security. Since we had nothing to do, we decided to head towards the car. This is when we noticed that the huge crowd we saw, wasn't trying to get to their car, they were trying to line up and pay! And since we had prepaid, we thought if we get to our car in time, it shouldn't take us half an hour to get out. So we race to the car and quickly hop in. Now anyone who has driven to a concert knows that the car park will be complete chaos. If there is space, people will move into it.

So as we're edging into the main stream of traffic, out of the corner of my eye, I see this car jerking towards us. No because there was a problem with the car, but more of a problem between the seat and the steering wheel. Next thing you know, a bitch in a BMW sticks her head out the window and yells at me "I'M NOT LETTING YOU IN! SO DON'T EVEN TRY!!". This was the start of a screaming match. Well, more like me screaming and her sitting there like a stunned mullet. Especially when I screamed at her "SLUT!!!!!!!". She sat there with her mouth hanging open for a good 5 secs before managing a weak "wha...wha...WHAT?". She even had the audacity to say "Don't you dare touch my car". Hello? Bitch? We're INFRONT OF YOU. If there is ANY scratching between the cars, its because YOU drove into US. You tard! I have no problems people not letting you into the lane. Ok, I do. But that's not the point. The point is, instead of edging in and not letting us in, she SLAMMED on the gas, then SLAMS onto the brake stopping within centimeters from hitting the car. MULTIPLE times. And if she did hit the car, it would've also hit me. So, me being me, meant that I spent a good 2mins hanging half way from the car window screaming abuse at her and mocking her. I've never seen someone go from "I'm so good, I've got a BMW" to "Oh shit, I need to get out of here before I get my head ripped off".

After that outburst, I certainly felt better. Not sure about Cherry though. I did warn her before the concert that she needs to be prepared to fight. Especially after the last incident with Kylie. I also remember telling her off for wearing heels instead of something comfy you can roll around in. You know, just incase there was a tussle. I also told her that no matter what happens, there is only 4 words you need to say to a cop. "It was self defence".

Moishii has also been briefed. He knows what to do in the event that a fight breaks out. Film. Unless I'm losing. Then he needs to throw Cherry into the fight.

Anyway, after all of that, we decided to head off to Hey Hey for a Hey Hey special. For those who haven't heard of a Hey Hey Special, it is basically a uber, mega kebab combo. It contains beef and chicken, lettuce, tomato, onions, tabouli, cheese and about a kilo of sauces made up of chilli, hummous, tahini and garlic yoghurt. Cherry was a Hey Hey virgin, so we decided it was time to devirginise her. Except she walked in and said she didn't want a Hey Hey Kebab. After a lot of yelling, she finally gave in and ordered a Hey Hey Special, and hey, I don't think she was disappointed. We even made her eat it the traditional way. Standing in the middle of the street in the freezing cold.