Day 6 - Marmaris to Rhodes

We woke up early in the morning. So early that the hotel wasn't even serving breakfast yet. So not only did we not get a tv, or a fridge, got downgraded, had a broken electrical system (That worked to our advantage), but we also didn't get breakfast. We hail a cab and head towards the pier. We arrive and head straight for the ticket office. This is when we find out that we don't get the ticket until right before boarding. When we finally get the tickets, I grab our suitcases and start lining up for Immigrations. We get into the port office and throw our bags onto the conveyor belt to be x-rayed. The next thing we know, theres a huge traffic jam of people trying to get through immigrations and our bags jam up the x-ray machine. They close the door to stop people coming in after us whilst we try to fix the jammed x-ray machine. They had to turn the damn thing off because of our luggage. We stand in line for 30mins waiting to get through immigration whilst about 100 people are standing on the other side of the door, barred from coming in. There was 2 immigrations officers trying to get about 200 people through the gates. We eventually make it through immigrations only to spot a duty free shop.

We make a mad dash for the duty free shop to find that smirnoff and absolut vodka is half the price it is in Australia, and even cheaper than that Turkish crap we bought. Without even thinking, we buy another 2 bottles of vodka and walk towards the ferry. This is when we realised we have 3 bottles of vodka, one for each island. We're going to get plastered. With our Voka in our hands, we head towards the ferry. Most people are only carrying hand luggage and walk straight onto the boat. Because we have our huge ass suitcases, we had to walk to the back of the ferry to store our bags. Now, every ferry has a shiphand (I think that's what they are called). The guy is basically in charge of grabbing the bags from shore and storing it on the ferry. The guy tells Moishii to leave the bags so he can grab them, instead of listening to the guy, he tries to "help" by passing MY suitcase to the guy by grabbing onto the only handle the guy can reach. The guy tries to grab the suitcase off Moishii using the same handle he was gripping on to. There was a split second where my suitcase dropped a few inches in the change of hands, almost into the sea. Luckily, another guy helped at the last minute to grab onto my suitcase and stopped it from falling into the sea. This is what happens when you try to help. Next time Moishii sweetie, DON'T HELP!

We finally board the ferry and grab a seat. We sit in our seats half asleep with our stomaches growling. This is when the bar opens to serve coffee and food. Moishii runs up to order us 2 coffees and a pastry. Because we were trying to "save" money on our Greece trip, we decided to buy essentials to take with us such as coffee powder, honey for toast etc. The only thing missing was sugar. He gets his two coffes and pastry, then he grabs the BIGGEST handful of sugar cubes and smuggles it back to our seat where I end up burning the crap outta me by spilling boiling hot coffee all over my thigh. Sitting there in pain, I did the only thing I could think of. I walked to the bar and grabbed a handful of sugar cubes and pocketed that. I forgot how many times we kept running up to the bar grabbing sugar. But lets say that my pockets started to get really weighed down with it.

The ferry starts to pull into the Rhodes port after an hour. The whole ferry jumps to their feet and starts stampeding towards the door. And I am not kidding when I use the word stampeding! The ferry had another 5-10mins to fully dock and everyone started swarming towards the door. This is when the guy working at the bar started SCREAMING on the PA telling everyone to sit down. At one stage, he screamed "WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE DOING!! SIT DOWN!!!!!!!!". A few people sat down at the screaming, but a majority of them kept pushing towards the doors. After 15mins, we finally get up and stroll off the ferry, only to see everyone pushing and shoving to get through the port authority. We straggle at the end of the line for "foreigners" only to be pulled into a queue for locals because according to the guy "All the lines are the same". ???

The first thing we did after we got through immigrations was buy a phone card to call our hotel to find out the best way to get there. The woman suggested that with our luggage, we should just cab it to the hotel, and do not pay more than 3euros for it. With that in mind, we walk to the nearest taxi stand and ask the guy how much it was to cab it to the hotel. He told us 5euros. Without missing a beat, we proceed to put our luggage into the boot. WTF? Did she not say to us don't pay more than 3euros? We never learn do we? We get to the hotel and check-in only to find out that if we want aircon, we have to pay an additional 4.50euros a night. Thats $9 a night! We decided to live without it......that is until I spent less than 5mins in the room where I grabbed my wallet and ran back to reception. 5mins later, I am standing in the room with the remote pressing every single button I could find to try and turn on the damn thing. We finally get the shits, decided to dump everything and stormed downstairs to reception. The woman kept asking me if I pressed the power button. FFS woman, do I look retarded to you!? Of course I pressed the fuckin POWER button. BITCH. We throw the remote at her and tell her to fix it before we run out to look for food.

We walk into the first cafe we saw and sat down to order Moishii's first moussaka in Greece. We sit and wait for our food when all of a sudden, we get sprayed from head to toe with water from the roof of the cafe. Thinking it was a once off, we continued to sit in our seats where we get sprayed repeatedly every 2mins for the next 15mins. We finally get the shits and move tables before our food came and gets drenched in water. We finally realised why no one sat near the edge of the roof.....

With a satisfied stomache, we start walking around the island and ended up at the Rhodes old town where the camera came out and we started getting trigger happy. 10mins walking into the old town, I started regretting that I wore thongs. When they said cobblestone walk way, they didn't mention that the stones are placed on their edges rather than their flat side. Every step started feeling like someone was jabbing a pole into the bottom of my foot. We walk past a jewellery store where we find a really nice bracelet for Moishii, only that it was a tad too big for his wrist. The woman offered to shorten it for free whilst we wait. We walked into the shop whilst the woman removed a few beads to shorten the bracelet. The next thing we know, she had cut herself with the pliers and started bleeding all over the bracelet. She quickly wraps a tissue around her finger and wipes up the blood before fixing the clasp back on. The woman had to BLEED for your god damn bracelet! I hope you're happy! You're bracelet is probably now CURSED.

An hour later, we really needed to find a toilet. We happened to walk into this ticket stand where everyone was lining up. We figured that there HAD to be a toilet at a tourist attraction like this. We jump into line with my expired student card trying to buy a ticket. We had no idea what was going on because you can buy all sorts of tickets from this booth. I heard someone say something about palace something. The building we were standing under sort of looked like a palace so thats what we bought tickets to. Only after we paid for our "student tickets" did we realise that we were at the palace of knights. The first thing we did after passing through the gates was to head straight for the toilets against the flow of the crowd. Feeling relieved (No pun intended) we start exploring the palace of knights and again got very trigger happy.

We roam around the city for some more when all of a sudden I see a bunch of 4 asians sitting at a restaurant. As we walked by, I heard on chick scream at another "Do you know how much we just ate!? $270!!!". What the hell? How the hell can you eat $270 worth of food for LUNCH? I think they must have ordered seafood and got royally screwed by the restaurant. Pissing ourselves laughing, we stumble into a clock tower where we paid 5euros each to climb. Either we were really unfit, or it was one of the steepest staircases we have ever seen. We got up two flights of creaky rotten wooden stairs when we had to have a pit stop to catch our breathes. When we finally get to the top, a couple stood up there congratulating us for making the hike. We wished them good luck as they practically trip and fall head first down the stairs. After taking some very awesome shots, we carefully make our way down to the garden bar where we get a free drink. This is when I pull out the camera and take a photos of the bartender's ass. And a damn fine ass she had.

We continue to walk around and around and around the old town when we stumble across this jewellery store that sold a silver greek bracelet that Moishii really wanted. It was priced at 35 euros which is close to $70AUD. I refused to let him spend that much on the bracelet and tried to negotiate. This is when he tells the woman that he's not paying for it, and that I am buying it for him a birthday present and I refused to spend that much money on him. The woman turns to me and starts yelling "He likes the bracelet and wants it as a birthday present and you refuse to spend money on him!?" I'm like WTF? I'm getting yelled at cos the woman thinks I am a tight ass. So I decide to play along and said he's not worth that much and we're going to shop around and proceed to drag him out the door. We wander around trying to find another store that sold that bracelet at a cheaper price. An hour later, we head back to the woman's store and stop around the corner where Moishii shoves a $50 note in my hand so I can pay for the bracelet to make it look like I am buying it for his birthday. We walk in to buy the bracelet and end up coming out with a different one. What the hell!? After all that negotiating and shopping around, you choose a different bracelet! FFS!! MAKE UP YOUR GOD DAMN MIND!!!

Starving, we head towards the first restaurant we could find that didn't look like they were going to charge an arm and a leg for a meal and ended up having a Gyros plate.....the first of MANY to come in greece. Feeling all greased up, we look on the map to find out that there is a "turkish palace" somewhere in Rhodes. Now here is the thing about Greece, they don't have street names, and even when they do, no one knows them. Hence the maps have about 10% of the number of streets that actually exist. We wander around trying to find this damn palace and decided to ask a woman at a cafe. I grab a seat on a bench whilst Moishii asks for directions. Now this is the WEIRDEST conversation you will ever see. Moishii is standing there talking for about 2mins trying to get directions, meanwhile the woman stands there going "ohhhhh ahhhhh.....ahhhhhhh.....ahhhhhh.......ohhhhhhh......ahhhhhhh....mmmmmm........ahhhhhhh......ahhhhhhhhh......" and finally she goes "I don't understand". WTF? She stood there umm and ahhing like she knew EXACTLY what he was talking about, and after 2 mins of him babbling, she finally told him she didn't understand a word he was saying. Luckily, I knew something was going to happen from this woman so I decided to get a shot of her.


We finally stumble into this alleyway that seemed to resemble something on the map. We walk past the point on the map of where the freakin palace should be. All we saw was this:


We're assuming that it is the god damn palace. 7hours after we left the hotel, with a feet full of blisters and an aching back like I was 9months pregnant, we decided it was time to call it quits. We start trying to find an exit out of the damn city and end up on the wrong side of it. Exhausted, a taxi drives by where we ask each other if we want to catch a cab back. Without even answering each other, we head back into the city to try to get to the other side. 30mins later, we find ourselves on the other side of the city walls only to see 4 dogs having sex with each other. We grab a video and start filming. When they collapse from exhaustion, we start walking towards our hotel when we questioned ourselves why we didn't cab it. Both of us wanted to cab it, but neither of us said so because we couldn't be bothered. WTF? We start walking and 10mins later, Moishii insists that we're going in the wrong direction and makes us back track. ANOTHER 10mins later, we realised that we WERE going in the right direction (Considering I had the freakin map) and back track AGAIN. 30mins later, the surroundings start to look familiar. We limp down the street as fast as we can and run into our hotel lobby almost in tears from relief. This is when we realised that we were in the wrong hotel. We practically start crying and turn to leave. 2 blocks later, 100% sure that we had the right hotel, I run up to the reception to get our keys. The woman then proceeds to tell us that someone had checked out our aircon. The reason that it wasn't working was cos we needed the main lamp on. Thinking everything was ok, we get into the lift where we suddenly realise that we have to sleep with the light on if we want the aircon to run. We then considered getting a refund if we can't get the aircon to work. This is when Moishii asked if they would even give us a refund. I then screamed "If the bitch doesn't give us a refund I'm going to rip her throat out!". At this EXACT instant, we arrive on our floor and the elevator door opens with 2 guys standing there staring at me. They had heard me screaming about ripping someone's throat out.

We dash out of the lift to have a laughing fit whilst the guys go down the lift. We waited for the next lift and went to reception to clarify if we HAD to sleep with the light on if we wanted the aircon. She said thats the only way and that an electrician will come and fix it for us tomorrow. Too tired to care, we get back to our room, turned on the lights and aircon and flopped into bed. We laid there for atleast 30mins in pain when I decided that I had to use the bathroom. I stood up and immediately stacked it. My feet and calves hurt so much I couldn't even stand. I ended up crawling to the bathroom FFS. I came out and flopped back into bed after turning the TV on. We were watching some british soap when Moishii starts laughing so hard he has an asthma attack. I pull our my camera to film not knowing why he was laughing. He managed to point to the tv and gasped "We...we...wee....weeded...wom...woman!!". I turned to the TV and see a GUY with the biggest mop of head looking like he dragged himself out of the bin. This is when I crack up laughing and we both roll around for about 10mins with tears in our eyes clutching our kidneys cos we were laughing too hard.

When we finally calm down, we head downstairs to the hotel bar and start sculling our 3.80euro cocktails. Moishii gets trashed and we end up back in our room collapsing from exhaustion. This is when we realised we walked for 8 HOURS STRAIGHT around Rhodes.